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-   -   **Confession thread** (https://www.bikeforums.net/road-cycling/732602-confession-thread.html)

spectastic 05-03-13 02:15 PM

I hate female drivers.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 02:38 PM


Originally Posted by spectastic (Post 15584835)
I hate female drivers.

I like female... everything, pretty much.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 02:40 PM

I snapped a carrot in the tanning bed the other day.

bit cramped for that, honestly.

MetalPedaler 05-03-13 02:40 PM


Originally Posted by RT (Post 15584687)
I also ride solo, but wanted to make a reference to a current thread for kicks. Cropdusting in Walmart is dangerous - you never know who is coming around the corner.

In my experience, people generally tend to be going, rather than coming; Often screaming and crying.

Then again.....this guy should have heeded your advice:

MetalPedaler 05-03-13 02:46 PM

***I'm curious about recumbents!***

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 03:53 PM

You could definitely snap a carrot while riding a recumbent.

Unless it was a hand-cycle, of course.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 04:00 PM

On an upright: only if you have a Cobb or Adamo saddle, which marvelously preserve blood flow to pelvic region. Whacking off in a paceline, however, is distracting to the other gentlemen.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 04:04 PM

I draw the line at that. Someone has to have some principles around here.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 04:10 PM

Wil somebody please shut my brain off or hit "reset" button or something.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 06:37 PM

Uh-oh.

Gerry Hull 05-03-13 06:41 PM

Lets get back to the guy who hates female drivers, quick!
i'm afraid i'm about to cause another thread to self-destruct. I was never here, ok?

spectastic 05-03-13 06:59 PM

LSD is a hellofa drug.

antmeeks 05-03-13 07:32 PM

I got reprimanded by a mod...

I was almost worried.

Pirkaus 05-03-13 07:40 PM

I wanted to write something witty, but I'm not smart enough
Pirk

calgary_jim 05-03-13 08:15 PM

I want to shave my legs but worry about what my wife will say.

antmeeks 05-03-13 08:19 PM


Originally Posted by calgary_jim (Post 15585945)
I want to shave my legs but worry about what my wife will say.

My wife bought me a lady razor for my birthday.

calgary_jim 05-03-13 08:29 PM


Originally Posted by HigherGround (Post 15084336)
On rainy days, I like to drop in to the very last spot in the paceline, pee on the back of the shorts of the person in front of me, and then convince him he was feeling wheel spray from a warm spot on the pavement.





























Ok, maybe not. :twitchy:

I snorted at this one and almost spilled my wine.

Mike F 05-03-13 08:53 PM


Originally Posted by Number400 (Post 15571345)
I hate pooping at work.

I'd rather get paid to poop.

jsharr 05-03-13 08:59 PM


Originally Posted by antmeeks (Post 15585810)
I got reprimanded by a mod...

I was almost worried.

I used to be a mod.

alexaschwanden 05-03-13 10:03 PM

I test rode a four grand full suspension 29er mountain bike so i can test out the suspension, so much fun jumping it off curbs.

spectastic 05-03-13 11:57 PM


Originally Posted by Mike F (Post 15586058)
I'd rather get paid to poop.

I have to poop in coveralls. imagine that. All the sht in your upper pockets falling onto the floor.

aramis 05-04-13 12:35 AM

Sometimes I go on shorter rides on my cheap craigslist aluminum bike in basketball shorts (with bike shorts underneath) and a regular fashion t-shirt to feel better about myself passing people on nice bikes and not getting waves from roadies.. even though I have the full kit and a DI2 carbon bike w/ powertap at home.

I think it's to offset the feeling of getting dropped on faster group rides.

antmeeks 05-04-13 06:23 AM


Originally Posted by jsharr (Post 15586081)
I used to be a mod.

You have my condolences.

RT 05-04-13 08:08 AM


Originally Posted by aramis (Post 15586438)
Sometimes I go on shorter rides on my cheap craigslist aluminum bike in basketball shorts (with bike shorts underneath) and a regular fashion t-shirt to feel better about myself passing people on nice bikes and not getting waves from roadies.. even though I have the full kit and a DI2 carbon bike w/ powertap at home.

I think it's to offset the feeling of getting dropped on faster group rides.

I was raised in Santa Cruz, but it has been 20 years since I left. Used to be everyone dressed in gym shorts and concert tees. That place never got out of 1973.

Dudelsack 05-04-13 08:48 AM


Originally Posted by MetalPedaler (Post 15584938)
***I'm curious about recumbents!***

I don't know if this post was part of Gerry Hull's 'stream of psychosis' or not.

Anyway, one must work through the Kubler-Ross steps if you buy a recumbent:

Denial - I wouldn't be better off riding one of those monsters.

Anger - I know plenty of old goats with bad backs and balance problems, and those buttholes still ride their Cervelos.

Bargaining - OK, I might get a bent, but only if PCad gets one first.

Depression - So I looked at recumbents at the LBS and Holy Crap are they ugly.

Acceptance - How many miles does it take to get my bent legs (answer - about 2500)?


Fear not. If you're lucky you might go into remission. My mileage this week was 50% bent and 50% real bike.


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