i twerk at stop lights

Lol. That's not a trackstand?

my bike is worth more than my car

I have needed to pee so bad I didn't care where or who saw as I kept moving.
Velocity

I break "THE RULES"

I just got a Japanese touring bike to flip, after riding it I am going to keep it!

The singer named herself after the color of her lady parts.

In the middle of a long ride I like to stop and relax while smoking a cigar.

I will draft any car I can until I run out of gear.

Lance Armstrong's confession was a disappointment. After it, I could no longer lean out of my car and scream at cyclists wearing yellow bracelets that their hero was a dopeeeeeeeeeer.

My wife would go ballistic if I told her but I have to tell someone. I got broadsided by a car on my bike today, threw me into traffic lane. I didn't lay there very long! No injury, no damage. Typical driver encroaching into cross walk. Not paying attention, she said it was her fault and she was sorry. I was just happy to ride away from there.
I was on Lance Armstrong bikeway in Austin TX.

In the same vein: I was once riding down a county highway with a nice sized shoulder when I heard a car hitting the off road gravel followed by the "fwapping" of the tall grass in the ditch. The car then came barreling past me at full speed in the ditch to my right. They hit a farmer's field entrance road (which created a small ramp) and caught some air and kept moving. At the next field entrance they were less lucky and the car went straight up at 90 degrees landing on its rear end and finally coming to a stop. I pulled up on my bike as the driver was getting out of the car. She had apparently passed out (something medical?) with her cruise control on and drifted off the road. I don't know how close she came to hitting me, but I'm probably pretty lucky to be alive!

Do not tell my wife!

Man it is a good thing that google can't search these forums.

Oh wait...

Back by unpopular demand.

I bought a $200 fixed gear to ride around town and tow my 4 year old and have been loving every minute on that thing. Don't get me wrong, I will always be a roadie, but something about riding this heavy ass steel single speed is tons of fun. Guess its kind of like a moped, tons of fun until.... ... you know the rest.

I leave my bike very conspicuously in my living room and hope that my houseguests ask me about it.

Good point. I try to time major cycling purchases to just after my wife has bought some needless and expensive item (like braces for our kids and stuff like that).

+1 I do the same thing.

I rode a recumbent tricycle yesterday.

only reason my dad knows i broke my shoulder is because i mentioned it by mistake in reference to sex,
he still doesn't know i got hit by a car on my bike last year or the number of times.

I have recently started flipping bicycles. Not for profit. I just like sampling different bicycles.

I just recently put a rack and trunk bag on my road bike.

It has become somewhat of a neighborhood joke that if you come to my house, I will invite you out to the garage to check out my bike(s).

I hadn't thought of bringing one inside.

In a similar vein, I have hung two guitars on the wall and have two more on a stand for similar reasons.

I bought a new bike two weeks ago on BD, felt really proud about assembling it all by myself. I contacted a rider I knew around town to do a ride together. I then proceeded to plow my Motobecane into his much fancier Cannondale and since my brakes were left in the service position.

I talk cycling to random people who have bikes at train stations. Regardless what type of bike, age, or sex.

I also consider sex weight loss opportunity.

When i am walking and a cyclist is struggling uphill past me, i shout out, "You can do it!"
When I am driving and a cyclist is struggling uphill, I open the windows and shout out, "Change gear, dumbass!"

i rotated my tyres.

Ill confess I went on a group ride with two men at least twice my age (I am 22) and got dropped multiple times. I tried really really hard to stay with them on the final climb, and it wasn't even close. When I got back I looked at my legs, such a rookie here

I bought a Trek. I like it.