I've been out for a while. Best thing about beating your head against a brick wall is stopping.

But that being said Solo, while I am unquestionably one of the "I told you so" brigade, please don't think there's any pleasure in that. I don't wish you any ill.

Quite the contrary; all the forehead-to-brick impacts were an attempt to help spare you some pain.

Even so, some people can be told that the stove is hot and they will avoid touching it. Others must touch for themselves before the lesson is learned.

DG

i ddin't think of that. i expected long boney fingers. like mr burns in simpsons.

It's 53 degrees. Rainy. December 10th. Central New York.

That's not right.

I pass.



No, it is not.

Ok, I'll give it a shot.

SA, I don't think I have tossed out any negative feedback, and I never told you not to do this. I have been on the "It is better to burn out than to fade away" line all along. But I also mentioned limmerance early on, and that is what your posts smell of.

Limmerance is perfectly normal in a relationship, the highs of she's perfect, to the crashes of she's horrible, in unpredictable cycles, based on largely superficial things. And your posts go from high to low on largely superficial things.

You have supported her in her counceling, and you have to play the long game with that. It will take moving through multiple councellors, and it is a process. I learned this with years of marriage counceling, some good, some bad (like 4 sessions on my wife buying a Mustang, which I told her I was fine with before the 1st session), but eventually things work out the way they should.

The issues with her dad are another long game. If you are in this for the long haul, you have to be the constant, and let her ricochet. She doesn't know how this will work out, her dad is in trouble, and boyfriends / husbands frequently get rolled into the dad issue and backlash.

You reacting to her not texting you is a third grade maneuver. If letting this run its course means to you what you say it does, stop acting on the superficial crap that you post here, pick a piece of ground, and hold it. Removing your pic of her on your phone was spiteful. Stand up for yourself, but don't be spiteful.

Every relationship should involve adults. She is not acting the part at the moment, so you need to.

Good luck and best wishes.

Why not?

http://www.fws.gov/southdakotafieldo..._Lu_Carbyn.jpg

I am also a doctor on the Internets.

When I said be good to yourself and do something nice, riding/running in the cold rain didn't come into my mind. I was thinking more of a massage, buying something you always wanted or doing something you put on the back burner. Don't beat yourself up. There are plenty of folks that come out of rehab who turn their life around. I use to work in "Hollywood" :).

what speed can you sustain for 10 mins on the flats?

crap, I can't help here. I'm separated from my wife.

Exercise IS taking care of yourself. I am doing so. When I don't exercise for more than a few days, I feel bad. And you will learn if you hang around here for long, that I am sarcastic and joking an awful lot. But serious as well. Right now, the key for me is showing up to work every day, taking care of my animals (2 dogs, 4 cats), not drinking too much, and spending time with my friends. For me, exercise is an important part of my routine that keeps me sane.

What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?

Around 30 mph on the tt bike.

My wife will never leave me. She's too afraid I would be happy.

How's the ankle feeling?

Depends

African or European?

Not judging you Solo, but as long as you are saying things like this on the interwebs, just be sure they are things you would not mind saying to her face. At least that's the rule I have always lived by with the fairer sex. I would wager that if you said the above to her face, your problems would be over and you could get back to riding your bike as you would without a doubt be extremely single.

i don't think i'll be much good. too much here reminds me of the early days of my relationship with my husband, including the sick parent. i'm projecting too much.

solo, you said you've been hurt by her in the past. in your history with her, has she ever cheated? have you ever found yourself feeling abandoned? either by her, other relationships, or your family?

It hurts but I'm able to wobble around the office. I have a feeling it's going to be a while before I'm back on the bike.

thank you.

It's a wildly shallow way of viewing people, in particular someone you supposedly love.

We don't have 10 minutes of flats.

Heeere we go. :(

Stupid weather and stupid job have conspired to prevent me from riding today.

Grrr....