I struggle with chain tension on every bike I own except one, the only one with built in tensioners. I am in the process of building a fixie and I have it up an going, but with no tensioners on it. The process that I go through on a daily basis is... find the tension I like, ride my bike, get off and notice the chain is loose. The only reason I am asking is because I see all these pictures of fixies and track bikes and I don't see any tensioners. Are they taking them off because they want a pretty picture? Do they not have an the issue at all? Or is it because I am missing something? I can't imagine the track stands and sliding help me in my situation but I don't have a brake.

Well, most track frames don't have tensioners in the first place, so there's nothing to remove. They really are not necessary to adjust chain tension, and you just need to learn how to do it. As to the the chain getting slack, it does happen over time as the chain wears, but if it happens frequently, then you just need to tighten the right side axle nut more to keep the axle from slipping forward in the dropout. It takes very little axle movement to significantly increase chain slack. Most people run their chains too tight anyway.

I don't wanna haul too hard on those axle nuts either right? I've been shunned for doing that a couple of times

Shunned ? Are you Amish ?

little do you know I fashioned this laptop out of wood

You don't need tensioners. a loose chain isn't a problem as long as it's not so loose it's going to come off the teeth of your chain ring or rear cog. you can probably get away with more chain slack than you think, keeping your chain a little slacker is better than being too tight anyway.
Getting shunned or whatever about cranking down on your axle nuts might be issue depending on what type of bearings you have in your hub.