should I have said west coast then? I really know nothing about east coast kids except for the few I met at nacccs this year and yeah some of those girls were really cool and would probably kill me on the streets but we are talking about hip chics that hang out at the right places and ride the right bikes etc etc

What about "a fred, and proud of it"?

Also, "I cycle in my kilt, you insensitive clod!" seems like a category for some special cases. No, not mine.