Thank you, this is a great segway into my new product: Kool Kevlar. The best Kevlar vest known to man covered with custom fabric choices, everything from Louis V, to Ostrich Leather, and Polka dots for the ladies. Only 3 times the price of a normal kevlar vest. For those of you that want the black one we put a fancy label on it. Next time somebody shouts "Hey you wimpy ass hipster beoch give me that bike or I'm going to shoot yout" you can say "go ahead ****** bag I'm wearing Kool Kevlar". (Commercial ends with 10 ft no handed superman skid). "go ahead ****** bag I'm wearing Kool Kevlar" is a register TM of BD inc.

Sorry, it's friday and I'm stuck in the house. PM me and tell me I suck I hope I made someone laugh!

"There are times -- thankfully they're super-rare -- when you must pay dark wages for your lifelong love of cycling."

I knew a sport with Cthulhu as its patron saint might run into a couple snags...

This works better against cars, methinks.

If someone knocks you off your bike with a baseball bat, you're probably not going to be grabbing your pepper spray anytime soon. Besides that, why are you riding through these ****ed up neighbourhoods where muggers are springing out from behind cars with baseball bats? How often does that seriously happen anyway that people lie in ambush waiting for cyclists? What are they stealing, water bottles?


Also worth saying that if you're riding close enough to a parked car that someone could spring out on you, you're riding close enough to be doored, which you should be more concerned about anyway.

d00d, that's why I ried a mad tyte fixieieieie! someone jumps out at me, I just do a skiddie brah! If I waz on a single speed I'd coast right into his baseball bat!

You're lucky you don't have to ride through any ****ty neighborhoods to get around places i guess. I'm not saying this has happened to me, or that its a weekly thing against cyclists where i am. But it has happened, and could happen and probably when you least expect it... yeah if you get hit in the chest that'll suck a lot, maybe you wont get up, but should you get up and the guy who whacked you off is coming to hit you again... you'll what, get your skull cracked in?

heh

hehehehehe

I ride through bad neighbourhoods. The threat there is getting caught up in a shooting but realistically the odds are pretty low. The crackheads generally mind to themselves, and I guess I don't go through any areas in such deep abject poverty that roving bands of cannibals ambush everything that moves.

That said, I've been around enough to know that if someone is going to find someone to jump and rob, they're not going to go for the person who likely has no money on them (ie cyclists). I'm sure if the numbers were actually kept you'd find that incidents of cyclists getting ambushed and mugged are extremely rare and that there are several dozen more realistic hazards you should be worried about.

*sigh*
Answer me this: COULD it happen to you?

For me the answer is yes, because it COULD happen to anyone. So if it CAN, possibly, happen to me i'd like to have options other than flail like a dying fish on the ground.

It would seem for the sake of argument (and against logic) that you would prefer to have no options other than telling a mugger you have no money (which i'm sure you can understand doesn't put the power over the situation in your hands).

Oh and for the record you're assuming all robbers/muggers are of the same mindset as to whom they chose to prey on- i think you should reconsider your stereotyping of the deviate mind. Because it's naive to think everyone acts the same way and will exclude you from your possible mugging because they think you might not have as much cash as the next guy- only one way to find out.

Does this work on bears and sea otters as well? 'Cuz I've been mugged/knocked off my bike as many times as I have been attacked by wildlife.

I totally forgot about the potential alien abductions...

To me, this ad just seems to be pandering to the fact that most cyclists have had bad experiences with poor drivers (who we might call idiots).

I bet they market the same product to motorists saying stuff about idiot cyclists ... hah.

Kimbers are amazingly nice guns, but pricey. My Glock 26 does pretty damn well, even though it's only a 9mm. 700 rounds, huh? That sucks.