Bike Forums - Today I:

I've realized that.

When I stopped smoking for a month a few months ago, the manic side of me (I'm the ****ing man, no one **** with me) sort of disappeared. At the same time, the depressive side of me started to define me.

Do I self medicate because I have mental illness, or do I have mental illness because I self medicate?

I want professional help. I've had suicidal thoughts for a few weeks now. Cry more, call a hotline, HTFU, whatever. I'm too big of a ***** to actually do it, so I think I'm safe for now.

Why do I share this with strangers? Obviously, I'm ****ing toys-in-the-attic crazy. I was also wondering if anyone else felt this way before or currently. I'm really not a bad guy, but my dependence on substance abuse is really starting to change me, for the worse. My personal friendships are falling apart.

I have pretty gnarly depression/anxiety issues, and have for most of my life. I've been working on it lately by way of meditation and just focusing on the positive aspects of life. I will also say that until 4-5 years ago I was doing around 2.5g of cocaine and 1-1.25g of heroin daily, as well as mushrooms, acid, pot, and drinking heavily. At first it seemed like quitting all of that **** made the depression worse, but honestly, I'm happier without it. I still drink a lot and smoke too many cigarettes, but getting rid of the rest of the **** really helped.

If you ever need someone to chat with, feel free to DM me and I'll send you my email and phone number. I know what you're going through, and I'd love to help.

Leukybear

03-02-12 01:34 AM

ZOMG EOS 5D MkIII
=> it's been so long and there's a new one!!! :lol::D
Not impressed cosmetically through; it's as if canon just added an extra I to a mkII through... but innards, innards are what matter.... although they seem to be an appetizer compared to the d800.. =/

hmdns

03-02-12 07:16 AM

today I bought these for my raleigh

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot...05965595_n.jpg

hope will be good with my 17T cog, brakeless :D

swisscheese

03-02-12 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sherblock (Post 13921073)

The bank robbery part is certainly interesting. story?

http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/cr...885/story.html

GMJ	03-02-12 08:55 AM

Thanks everybody for the kind words. I am leaving pretty soon to see my first appointment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hmdns (Post 13921748)

today I bought these for my raleigh

"sexy ass chainring"

hope will be good with my 17T cog, brakeless :D

ZOMG. They made them in black? Where do I get this?

NOS?

carleton

03-02-12 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hmdns (Post 13921748)

today I bought these for my raleigh

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot...05965595_n.jpg

hope will be good with my 17T cog, brakeless :D

Probably not.

nuhtowel

03-02-12 09:38 AM

Today not a single **** was given in statistics class, spring break in t-minus 22 minutes.

Scrodzilla

03-02-12 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carleton (Post 13922094)

Probably not.

I'm 49/17 brakeless with no trouble at all.

Jaytron

03-02-12 10:01 AM

Today I was running to catch the train in my clipless shoes and slipped and fell right on my ass. Now my lower back hurts.

yummygooey

03-02-12 10:07 AM

Today is "Unofficial St. Patrick's Day" at UIUC.

;)

hmdns

03-02-12 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMJ (Post 13922060)

ZOMG. They made them in black? Where do I get this?

NOS?

it's not black, it's a bit dark blue...bought it from my friend, yeap NOS :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by carleton (Post 13922094)

Probably not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scrodzilla (Post 13922301)

I'm 49/17 brakeless with no trouble at all.

I've done 46-16 brakeless before so I think I'll survive with this new ratio (49-17) :)

xavier853

03-02-12 02:00 PM

whatevs, 50/17 brakeless

hairnet

03-02-12 03:13 PM

other tall guy decided to not buy my tall frame. :( Anyone want a 67cm frame?

striknein

03-02-12 03:20 PM

Got my formal full-time job offer at work! Getting a tattoo this weekend to celebrate. Next up is house shopping.

PluperfectArson

03-02-12 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMJ (Post 13920984)

I've seen doctors about depression before, back when I was a kid and not too long ago. I'm really good at covering up feelings, so they attributed it to minor/major depression, and brushed me off. I'm not going to take prescription drugs, because from I've seen, that makes the people worse.

I need valid diagnosis before I start treating myself though. Or else I probably will end up killing myself by driving my psychosis farther along.

What I hope to find are possible and reoccurring triggers that shift my mood, how to recognize them, and how to deal with them so I don't go all Gary Busey on everyone on the reg.

I appreciate the responses and even that ******** picture. lol.

Oh, I totally meant to say "are useless" in my original post. I hate psychology, think it's a ******** field.

But good luck with everything.

zoltani

03-02-12 05:02 PM

LOL, yeah, it is an invented science.

Surprisingly, your diet can have a major effect on your mental state and well being. Look into it.

Stezzy

03-02-12 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leukybear (Post 13921393)

YES, i was nerding out on it today too. i want to see the test video.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoltani (Post 13923928)

LOL, yeah, it is an invented science.

Surprisingly, your diet can have a major effect on your mental state and well being. Look into it.

ya i've read this somewhere also. i forget where but i read that eating cashews helped some people cure depression. worth a shot?

striknein

03-02-12 05:15 PM

Here comes the quackery.

TMonk

03-02-12 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by striknein (Post 13923542)

Got my formal full-time job offer at work! Getting a tattoo this weekend to celebrate. Next up is house shopping.

nice. programming?

91MF	03-02-12 05:46 PM

today i got super stoked but it was a false alarm.

i did eat ribs for dinner, so that was pretty good.

91MF	03-02-12 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Street rider (Post 13920144)

****, I need to go do that. I even have a gift certificate for a full hour at a masseuse that my mom knows. That would make spring break just that much better.

you mean massage therapist. masseuse is like rub and tug without the happy ending.

Dannihilator

03-02-12 06:12 PM

Today I was on the 930 for 12 hours.....

Miles: Massive

TMonk

03-02-12 06:14 PM

jesus christ

i like cycling, but not that much lol. way to go.

homebrewk

03-02-12 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannihilator (Post 13924141)

Today I was on the 930 for 12 hours.....

Miles: Massive

Good work.

PluperfectArson

03-02-12 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stezzy (Post 13923951)

ya i've read this somewhere also. i forget where but i read that eating cashews helped some people cure depression. worth a shot?

- walnuts
- chicken/turkey
- salmon/mackerel
- cheddar/swiss cheese
- spinach
- citrus fruits
- whole wheat (I personally enjoy rye more)
- Popcorn (supposedly for the carbs)
- Water

Also, St. John's Wart, 5HTD, omega 3s, vitamin D, vitamin C, protein, folic acid, tryptophan, selenium.

There's a ton more to what you might eat may help, but just for a few.

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