Loneliness has often been the worst enemy of adventurers. If you have not done so already, read some journals by modern solo explorers. Do you remember "The Dove" about the young man who sailed around the world solo in 1965? In a fit of lonliness induced madness, he set his boat on fire. If I remember correctly, he had several bouts of internal struggles that nearly collapsed his goal.

Available at Amazon for $10.40 https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...mouthnightschA

Review:
"In 1965, 16-year-old Robin Lee Graham began a five year, 33,000 mile, solo around-the-world voyage from San Pedro, California, in his 24-foot sloop, Dove. Those of us who were in our teens at the time, followed his story avidly as it unfolded in a series of articles in National Geographic magazine. The book fills in the details of the personal struggle that went along with the pleasant, scenic adventures shown in the magazine. This book is a must-read for those of all ages who love sailing and crave adventure"

Ha ha ha. Good story, Roughstuff. A good lesson is to do your talking after you have done the doing.

Hey-thanks all...
I can't respond to all the posts here. It'd take me all day. I have to admit, the 'snap out of it' comment made me laugh--in a good way. It's good to know that I am not the only one that has stumble during a first big tour. Btw, I did take a few over nighters before I set out. But, they were regional and I was really comfortable with the terrain. Maybe a lesson for other thinking about doing a long tour. Take some small, overnighters but do it way from what you are use to. The tour that I had planned wasn't about escaping from the real world or anything like that; I had accomplished my educational goals. I don't have kids, no debt and there was nothing holding me back. It seemed like the right time to take some time and see the world. Like I said, I'm getting back on the bike. I'm thinking of a going to the NC mountains this fall, do some riding and camping.

Eric,
Maybe take a shot at the Murphy to Manteo (Mountains to the Sea) ~700 mile ride...but I will give you a heads up the first couple of days are B-R-U-T-A-L IIRC there is one 35+ mile stretch getting up to the Blue Ridge Parkway south of Asheville that is nothing but climbing. But once you get past that it is all downhill

Aaron

I had the same feeling when I started my RTW bike trip. Loneliness is a *****, and my cycle computer broke within the first few days as well, but I was lucky. I met some great people in Hamburg, they helped me see the big picture, and I soldiered on. I can totally see where youre coming from though, and if it werent for Hamburg, I would probably not be 3000km in. Give it another try, organise a bit better, get this daily mileage bullsh*t out of your head and just do it for fun, nothing else.

There are always a few ups and downs, hourly. One shouldn't read too much into them. Just because one is temporarily out of sorts doesn't mean one will be that way for ever. I think one needs some strategies, and EVZ may have them, I'm not talking about his personal situation because I don't know it. I think it would make sense to say something like. "well OK it's decided, I'm not going around the world... So... what is the part of Europe I always wanted to see, since I am here". Slip the noose but make the best of it.

Talk about a whole group of folks being hard on themselves. In this crowd, I am, frankly a wimp. I've only done 3 tours: one overnight camping trip, one 3 1/3 day 197 mile CC tour, and one 4.5 day 220 mile camping tour. However, these dinky little tours are only dinky little tours here, in this forum. Most cyclists aren't ready/willing to load up their bike with panniers or a trailer full of gear, and ride down the street, let alone cross a state line or national boundary.

I learned alot about how non-cyclists/non-tourers view tourers when I did my last trip, which I finished yesterday. Everyone, even family who know I really enjoy cycling, are shocked and impressed with the prospect of doing a bike tour. When I went to what seemed to be the only bar on the North Fork of LI, I was the most popular guy there. Why? Because I was the only person there who actually went on vacation by bicycle. When I went to the commercial campground(filled with RVs and SUVS), it was as if Les Stroud(Survivorman) himself had come to camp out there.

Frankly, every time one of us hops on our two wheeled steed and follows the rising/setting sun to someplace, we are doing something 99.9% of the public can't even contemplate doing. So stop being so hard on yourself, all of you.

I had a similar experience about 10 years ago. My summer tour ended after 1 month. At first I was pissed at myself, but that did not last long. In the end I have found that my failure was a very positive learning experience and I learned many things about myself and others that still helps me today. This was probably the same stuff that I would have learned if I had completed the tour, except that it would have had a happy ending.

Because of my work schedule, I take several one-week tours each year. Almost every one starts and ends at home and takes me to some beautiful parts of B.C. By the end of the week, I feel refreshed, relaxed and ready for more. I may eventually try for a cross country or international tour, when I am able to commit the time to something of that magnitude.

As someone else has said, people are shocked when they learn I like to tour by bike, as if it's an impressive test of strength. I'm trying to tell others around me how much fun it can be to load up a bike and ride. Some are now starting to ride around town, just for a bit of exercise. In time, they might discover the joys of touring as well, but for now, knowing they are riding for pleasure is enough.

Eric,

I'm sorry things didn't work out and I hope you are feeling better.

What most people leave out when talking about bicycle touring is the mental aspect of touring. Touring is 90 percent mental, 9 percent comfort, and 1 percent gear and everything else. Riding for day after day with nothing but sagebrush and towns that all look the same after a while will test most everyone. Rain and wind isn't fun either. I missed my family greatly and decided a month was enough back in 2005.

I've never considered my tour a failure though. I learned a whole lot about myself.

I've cut down my tours to a few days or a week at most for now about once or twice a year. When my daughter is a bit older, I might try a coast to coast tour.

We all learn from our experiences both good and bad.

No [poop]!

When I discuss exercise with folks in my (medical) office, it's continually hard (albeit necessary) to lavish praise on those who have started cycling, and now with their training, can ride a mile or two. "Man, that's GREAT!" I answer, while inside I think, jeez, I rode 45 miles after dinner last night, and you're 10 years younger than me!

Yeah, it's frustrating to not be able to complete a long-anticipated goal. But the point is (as others have mentioned) that one ought not judge one's own self-worth based on ability to complete that goal.

I've been there. I scheduled a tour down the west coast, from Seattle, Washington to San Luis Obispo, California. Halfway through I was wondering, "What was I thinking? Why did I have to set such a long distance for a goal?" I made it most of the way, but quit in Santa Cruz after developing a spoke-breaking problem that just kept getting worse.

Ever since I've set goals when planning tours, but have also decided before I started that I would quit whenever I felt like it, and not beat myself up over it afterwards. After all, I go on tour for fun, not to punish myself. I'm proud of the accomplishment of cycling really long distances, but there's a point of diminishing returns when the pain, or loneliness, or fatigue, etc. outweighs the pride of accomplishment. Loneliness, especially, is a factor that's hard to anticipate. If you're in a good head space it's easier to push on. If you're lonely, you start looking for reasons to quit. Like another person said, what you think a tour will be like when you're planning it is always different from the reality when you're out there.

This summer I had planned to ride from Seattle to Montana on the Northern Tier. However, after a week I had struggled over two passes - the North Cascades and Loup Loup - and arrived in Omak, Washington in 105 degree heat. I had two more passes to climb and the temperatures were supposed to go even higher. My knees were bothering me after the two passes. My Bob trailer didn't work as well as I'd hoped - it felt really heavy going up the passes - and I'd sent home some stuff to reduce weight - stuff I was missing. I was having trouble finding suitable food for my diabetic diet in the remote parts of the tour, and the route was going to get more remote. AND lastly, my friend in Omak said he would give me and my bike a ride back to Seattle, solving the problem that was looming of how was I going to get back? It was time to quit. I regret not doing the good parts of the tour that were waiting in northeast Washington, Idaho, and Montana, but I'm not sorry I quit. It was time. It was a relief.

People self -sellect themsleves into particular groups. If your objective is to go around the world, then trans-USA is a smaller objective, and when you are out there you will rub shoulders with others from granny and grandpa to 8 year olds.

We have the occasional thread here that goes "well I am almost ready to leave. In a month I will cycle from Seattle to LA, and I was just wondering what I should do to approach potential sponsors who might want to give me money and gear. By the way I have a website and am raising money for Doctors Without Pensions, if you feel you can give something go to...". The response is normally a collective sigh of "give me a break". Sure such a trip would be beyond the powers or interest of the vast majority, but it doesn't really merit a line in the local paper either. That is why we have crazyguyonabike.com.

I think we can all sort out the difference between a personal preference, like short tours; a personal best; and a world class acheivement or first. Thomas Stevens Cycled around the world over 100 years ago, the conditions were harder, the gear hoplessly primative. Not a whole lot worth making your life miserable for has entered the record books since.

https://www.gutenberg.org/etext/5136

BBT, I used Seattle above in my example before seeing your post.

I do think quitting is a whole other thing. A person can quit cycling up a pass and know it was time to leave, possibly one is stopping before risking an injury, etc... But it can also be a lost opportunity for growth, and breaking through to the next level. Only the person quiting knows whether they are loosing or winning. I have quit often enough to know the feeling.

Great original post. It must have be so difficult to write that. Sharing those those thoughts with other touring enthusiasts is a wonderful start to feeling better. Who better to understand the thoughts you're having.

I think our Western culture puts a heavy emphasis on time, unlike other cultures (apologies for non US/Anglo readers) where time isn't so important. It is second nature to think about how long something will take to complete and then stick to it rigidly.

Learn from the experience. What would you do differently next time? If you're completely against touring now the lesson's been learned and no harm done. You can easily sell your gear on ebay and will have lost little. BUT if you're (hopefully!) keen on trying again you're likely to succeed because you know what you want/don't want, like/don't like and can plan accordingly. Also, you now know what to do differently to avoid making the same mistakes.

I think you would have regretted more if you hadn't gone than if you had gone. Peter Pan's comments that you over-reached and over-explained jump out at me. Not just because you feel the need to explain to others but because you set the around-the-world goal so highly youself. If a goal is too easy there is no motivation to achieve. If the goal is too high, it can seem impossible and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Mate, only you can decide whether to have another crack at it or not. Remember that if you are set on a trip across the U.S (a commendable achievement in itself) you'll be absolutely determined to do it and will know how to plan the trip so that it's as pleasant as possible. Set low daily kilometre goals and surprise people when the cross-state trip turns into something longer and they receive your e-mail from California!

Take care,

Matt

EVZ,

This is one of the best posts I read. I think anyone planning to do a tour should read this first, and then plan accordingly.

What i find on lots of my trips, by bike or otherwise, is that the planning of the trip is sort of the funnest part as its not reality based. I just sit there with a map and think of different routes. As I am at home the whole foreign environment things and loneliness are not problems. Then I fly half way around the world and end up in Ubon Ratchathani, Thailand, in the rain, and its really a shock to the system. This the reality based part of the tour, and from past experience I've found that it takes a few days or maybe more to get in the swing of things. And when you're alone in a foreign country, like you were and I was, it adds an extra element that you don't think about while at home.

One other thing that I have done different that you is that although I keep journals at CGOAB I sort of wait to the last minute to post them rather than the great big long build up seen on many of the journals. And when I mention it to friends I downplay them and don't tell them about CGOAB. I know this was harder for you as they would be wondering where you were for two years.

Live and learn. And thanks for your OP as its excellent advice.

eric,
Great post that will touch a lot of us. I just received an email from a friend who had planned to ride cross country this year but decided on a short loop in the northeast instead. After he finished he decided that he had nothing in common with touring life, even though he spends most of his time in the back woods hiking and camping.

After my cross country tour this year I believe even more strongly that this is a uniquely individual and private sport/pastime. I often read comments on this forum about those who ride slowly and spend their time sightseeing and meeting people. I think of the hours that I spend doing those things compared to the time I spend in the saddle just grinding out the miles. I think that you have to enjoy all parts of the experience because the really special adventures during the tour will not account for most of your time.

I find also that after a couple of months on the road alone, I am ready to reconnect with my life. To be home in familiar surroundings doing familiar things. I believe that it would be much more difficult to drop out for a couple of years without taking my life (wife/family/friends) with me.

I admire your dream and now you have me thinking about how it would be possible to do such a thing. Good luck and thanks for sharing with us.

Feel better Eric, it's not as bad you think.

What most impresses me in bicycle touring are the people who set aside: the time, the money, the comfort, the false pride, friends and family, the career, the provinciality, and go bicycling for a long time. Beyond that, I hope that each and every one has a great time, every day. Going around the world, crossing the country, bisecting Australia, and so on don't mean much to me except if the rider is having a great time of some sort, every day. Here's hoping, eric, that your next rip will be a pure, unsurpassable pleasure.