So, yesterday I went out for a 138 mile ride. Starting in April I decided to do a century at the end of each month until October, when I turn 30. This is in anticipation of a tour of Sacramento Valley that I have been wanting to do for years...

However, right now I'm working six days a week with overtime hours, and am not home much. When I returned from last month's century my wife was rather upset that I couldn't be home with her, and I said I would only ride on the last Sunday of each month, doing the rest of my training in the gym or morning rides. As it turns out, she was still quite upset yesterday because I had not been home all week and still missed our day together. I promised that I would stop the long rides on Sundays so that we could be together, which effectively kills my plan to do the tour - the idea of which, it turns out, also annoyed her a lot because she would not be able to join me.

Now I'm left with a pile of lovely old bicycles and a vow to ride much less than I have been until I find work that allows time for such activity. That could be years!

I'm rather disheartened, but I have a lot of hobbies and I truly have been neglecting just about everything except my garden lately because of bicycles and cycling.

*sigh*

I know a lot of folks around here are seasonal riders, or probably had busy periods during their lives, so I'm surely not alone. This is the only place I really communicate about my cycling hobby so I felt an urge to post. I hope everyone has a good week!

-Gregory

Have I got a tandem for you!
Red Co-Motion, your size.
Perfect for the recalcitrant spouse.

I feel you. I am often in the same boat, trying to balance spending time with my GF, bike riding and wrenching, other hobbies like woodworking, ceramics, gardening, and camping and less-optional hobbies like painting our house and taking care of our three dogs (including one high maintenance puppy). It was hard to balance all these things until I broke a bone in my hand two weeks ago. Now my hobbies are severely limited for at least the next month. Not only is there not time to do everything I want to do, I just can't do them, which is very frustrating.

On the plus side for both of us: no kids! I'm 34, and my friends who have babies just disappear, don't get any sleep, and don't get to do anything. I don't know how they function.

Having to put the brakes on something you love sucks. Best of luck finding balance!

If you have the choice, why not cut back on work? Unless you have a Mother Teresa-like job, 6 days at work has little benefit.

I agree with iab. Try to cut back a little here and there from the long work hours.

Bike ride with her to a lunch date.

I work seasonal quality control in agriculture - work hours are dependent on nature rather than any strict scheduling. I was a full-time student for the past year and need to pull myself up a bit, so I can't give up this gig right now. It only lasts through summer, though.

Wildwood, she would not go for the tandem thing, methinks. Just being out on a bicycle for more than a few miles is still a bother to her - especially in the summer heat we get here in the San Joaquin.

Heat, cold, traffic, uncomfortable saddle, my hands hurt, the scenery is boring, the hill is hard, i get confused shifting, i did that last week!, i feel dehydrated........
I've heard it all, ......but not a problem for more than 20+ years as she encourages me to go.

Make yourself happy, she should do the same. Over-compromising is a slippery slope. I also know a sane man tries harder to please, with wife #2 .

Well, that's what's most troubling about it for me. For a month she's known I'd go out on this ride and otherwise we spend quite a bit of time together despite the long hours at work, etc, and I didn't hear that it bothered her for me to be gone until I got back. Not much I can do except promise not to go out next month - which I won't!

I also have multiple hobbies as I cannot sit still. I got into really long rides as well but it's just too much as is not fair if you also work alot or do lots of family stuff. I always told my golf buddies I will wait until I retire for more play as 18 holes pretty much takes your day, but there I was riding all day.

One thing I did, my wifee rides but she is not passionate about., But she wants to be in better shape. So we got a personal trainer and work out three times a week together. Great quality time. I ride two other days and maybe Sat or Sunday for a little more distance, but do the early rides so I have the day.. One thing may also want to do is crits or those type rides for road or fixed. Fast and shorter. I try to get in a one hour push in per week. Going full on you don't need to do 100 miles and it's fun watching times get better.
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Lol.... tandems can nearly wreck a marriage too.

Happy Wife, happy life, this is coming from a guy who is divorced. In the immortal words of the late, great Richard Pryor ."when you find someone who loves your ass, don't. f#%k it up. You can have lots of fun rides in 30 or 40 miles and there is no Shame in a Metric century. Good luck sir.

She picked it out.
She also picked the 3 bikes bought for her.
No worries, only the beach cruiser and tandem remain.
If we ever move to a beach the problem is halved again.

Then just be patient. You are only 30. You have plenty of time to indulge in our silly hobby. Or, you just gotta ask, what is more important ...

Patience is key, but sometimes just listening goes a long way. I've tried to buy tandems before and my wife refuses to ride one.

The good news though, is we really enjoy riding together. She is "very" physically fit and can most often dust me on rides up to thirty miles or so.

I just try to keep up with her until she gets back into the 15-18 mph range and then we can settle in for an day ride.

Whatever you do, try to make sure your wife is enjoying the time together. Isn't that the most important thing?

Figure out how to get your wife to ride with you... spend some time together ON THE BIKES.

I do most of my riding as commuting, errands, and utility cycling. The riding time and distance sure adds up quickly. I'm sure it isn't the same as training rides, but it really does help the overall fitness. I usually get in 100 to 200 miles or so in a week just poking around town.

get one of these so you can ride AND make money. and take your wife out to boot. I Kid, but I have also thought about it seriously myself...

We are irrational beings, don't expect otherwise. The fact that she wants to spend her time with you trumps your training rides.

29 years old, sheesh

Is the job outside or inside? If outside, any way you can use a bike as a job vehicle to help with the habit?

Just imagine what it will be like with kids. I may be in the minority here but if she knew well in advance and then got upset about it it is her issue.

My wife and I both work full time and then some. Twin 2 year olds. I make time to go for rides during their afternoon nap on nice weekends for a few hours. She has her interests and I have mine but we still spend time together.

Can you bike commute to work?

Thanks for the responses, guys. I think I'll have better luck getting Gala to start riding around with me on her own bike than the tandem thing. She's from Russia and does not like being out in the sunlight for very long, not being used to it and having rather delicate skin - it's definitely hard on her in that regard here in California. So rather than trying to take her out for long rides on a tandem where I'm doing most of the work, I think it will be easier to find some local rides and just try to make a routine out of that.

The work is indoors, and the commute would be about 45 minutes each way. The issue is that I cannot be late and the country roads can lead to flat tires, and I sometimes get out after dark, for which I am ill-equipped on a regular basis (and which this particular road, which lacks bike lanes, would be dangerous).

I like the idea of negotiating, but I feel like that's broken down already - we had already planned to let me get out once a month, but I think it is not reasonable while I work six days a week. When I get a new job after the summer I'll re-approach the issue. Cheers!

-Gregory