ax0n

Is this only in response to people who've made my life hell on or because of my bike? Can I count the things that I did in response to the a-hole who was stalking my wife?

Actually, it doesn't matter, as I could still probably get in a lot of trouble for it. I think I'll just keep quiet.

ax0n

Not a chance, buddy. With age comes creativity!

Gojohnnygo.

I got yelled at by this idiot once, He said I'll run you over the next time I see you. I followed him home. That night I spray painted MS 13 (in big block letters) with "bang bang your dead" on his front door. He moved out of the neighborhood a week later










That was a joke!

MyBikeGotStolen

I havent done any violence ON the bike but have done some off the bike in the past. I have since matured a little and with the extent of my criminal background when I was younger I would probably have to back down if anything did happen to me while on the bke. I just cant afford to get into trouble again.

But in 5 years, I can get it all sealed for employment purposes and then if any a-holes throw anything at me, then they are fair game

dschl

Two stories. Neither is especially violent.

------------- #1 ---------------------

I was riding in a bike lane back in my first year of commuting, and saw some bonehead in a pickup truck pull out and completely block the bike lane as he was waiting for a break in traffic to turn left out of a parking lot (he was turning to go the other direction).

I got off my trusty steed, walked around the front of his pickup, and lightly hammered his truck's hood with my elbow as I passed.

As I got back on my bike to continue onwards, I heard him peel out behind me, and saw him swerve across both lanes of traffic to follow me, stopping in front of me with his truck angled across one lane and the bike lane. He got out of his truck and started pushing me, and kicked my bike. The guy was around twice my age and half my size (I was 6'3, 230 lbs at the time), so I asked him if he wanted to go, but he declined. I don't have the email handy that I sent to my buddies with the full details of the incident, but I believe that he said something about getting a bat from his vehicle. He eventually decided that he didn't want to take me on, and took off in his truck (now going the opposite direction of the way he originally wanted to go).

One friend of mine was watching from his office which overlooked the scene, and afterwards he told me that he saw the entire incident. "I wondered if it was you", he said. "I can't believe you didn't pound the guy into the ground when he kicked your bike". Good times, no damage to the bike.

--------------#2---------------------------

The second incident involved no violence, but it was fun. Here's what I sent around to other friends who ride. They still believe that I am nuts:

I'm looking to turn across Doyle Avenue into the alley behind the office. Fat Boy in a grey dodge minivan coming the other way comes to a complete stop in front of the Bike Shop cafe, and tries to (illegally and unsafely) wave me through. I shake my head, and wave him through, yelling "Get going".

Fat Boy then turns on his signal, and starts to turn into the parking lot across the road, behind Dawett (restaurant). He also rolls down his window to yell at me, but I pre-empt him, yelling, "I'm a car, treat me like one". While still parked in the middle of the road, Fat Boy yells back "You're not a f***ing car", and possibly something else.

As he turns into the alley that runs behind Dawett, I decide that I'm not going to take that kind of crap from a motorist. So I do a 180, cross Doyle, and start following him down the alley. He notices me following, and guns it. So do I. Fat Boy must have ended up doing 30-40 km/h, down a narrow alley, with cars on either side. I heard his tires lock and skid on the gravel as he drove over a big metal utility vault cover when he braked for the "T" corner at the end of the alley. He turned left at the "T", and headed towards St. Paul Street, blasting out of the alley onto St. Paul Street near the Bargain Mart. Lucky there were no pedestrians on the sidewalk, as there is zero visibility. I almost caught up to him just as he turned north onto St. Paul, and after carefully checking traffic, I continued chasing him down St. Paul. Fat Boy must have gunned it, because he turned left on Doyle (heading back in the direction from which he came in the first place, what a bonehead) and had driven out of sight by the time I got there.

I hope Fat Boy in the minivan filled his underwear with fear. I don't know why he was so afraid, but it was funny as anything. In fact, that was the most fun I've had on a bike this year. I wanna chase more cars, and intimidate more motorists.

fordfasterr

Some of the things you did make me really happy ! =)


Thanks

rockhopperbike

hmm,

on two wheels..... had a rangerover pull out of a side road in the open limit as I was 30-40feet away- solution moved over to pass him and innocently removed his wing mirror [motorbike armoured gloves]

on the kona, car full yelling abuse as they passed me in a 40limit, red mist came down and off I went -stop start traffic, caught them a mile or so later, slid the bike around in front of them as they were stopping - should have seen the faces ! asked them to repeat what they said- they went ever so meek and innocent- never said a word

wanders

I won't quote it.

CastIron

Personally, I'll decline this opportunity to play internet tough guy.

Artkansas 

I'll take the Fifth and not incriminate myself.

sasquatch2

wow, popular thread, lots of pent-up anger??? Not sure if self inflicted violence counts but... I tried to punch the side of a van that turned in front of me after making eye contact. My feet were still clipped in and I fumbled so bad that my fender support rods jammed 2 holes into my shin bone. I wanted to be violent!!! I've also punched the side a SUV that passed me and turned into a parking lot more for educational purposed than intimidation. I also shouted "watch out, what do you think your doin..." into the rear side window of a car that did the same thing. there was a little kid back there, hope he/she asked his mommy why she drives so brainlessly.

I've come to realize eye contact doesn't work 100%, anyone carry stuff to throw at idiots who are endangering your lif? I was thinking BBs or acorns... or grenades. can't decide? I'd like to have something handy to pelt their windshields (not smash them) so they might access the part of their brain that thinks.

Domromer

I beat a kid up in 6th grade. We were best friends a week later.

I also shot a squirrel with a blow gun and killed it. I felt very bad.

I'm mostly non violent.

genec

I've often thought that paint balls would be the hot ticket. Of course the act of raising a gun in a traffic situation can bring on all sorts of issues. But beyond that... imagine if you could paint ball an errant motorist... and imagine if other motorists could do that too. Do you think the police might notice and take action on a driver that had a "few too many" paint ball marks? Heck, if nothing else all those splotches would serve to warn others.

Of course the flip side could take place too... and motorists shooting at cyclists just does not seem like a good thing.

Denny Koll

I shoved a guy once. He thought I scratched his truck when he almost hit me. He pulled over jumped out of his truck and was yelling and very concerned that some minute scratch not visible to the naked eye might be on his truck. I think he wished he had a magnifying glass.

He approached me closely and I shoved him and rode away.

bfromcolo

Years ago in DC I had a near accident with a taxi driver who wasn't keen on my rights to be on the road. At a traffic light I pulled up next to the drivers side of the cab and leaned over to let the driver know what I thought of his driving. As I leaned over I grabbed the rear view mirror which promptly came off the car in my hand, I really wasn't trying to break anything. I tossed mirror in the drivers lap and told him to watch it or some such, and he ran the light I suppose in fear that after breaking off his mirror I was coming after him.

rockabilly808

I've done martial arts for years and it has come in handy a few times, the one time that sticks out in my mind was when I was riding past a row of parked cars and a guy swung his door open and I nailed it, fortunately I wasn't going very fast so I wasn't hurt, the guy decided it was my fault and came after me, ow he was fat, in terrible shape and didn't know a thing about fighting, blocked the few punches he threw punch to the solarplexus and a kick (with clipless cleat) to the face and he was done. called the cops andhe was still out cold whent hey got there but they searched him and he had a rather large foldong knife in his pocket which concerned me.

then there was the time a tourist wanted to fight me because he thought i looked at his girlfrined a a red light. another fat guy. I stepped onto the sidewalk and watched his get screamed at by the other motorists when he was still stopped and the light was green because he was busy yelling at me, eventually he drove off giving me the finger, not violent at all on my part but still funny.

NitroPye

Not on my bicycle but still two wheeled stories:

Once a woman treated me as though I didn't have right to a full lane and cut in front of me while we were both taking a left across a busy intersection I had to swearve to avoid the traffic island. Strike 1. Come up to a red light she trys squeezing thru me and the sidewalk Strike 3. Then I get in front again she pushes me damn near into a barrier. Strike 3. I dented the living **** out of her car with my motorcycle boots.

=====

This time I was assaulted. Riding again late at night and a car is all over the road behind me, speeds up gets next to me almost hits me. We get to the light I turn around and say "dude, lay off the pot" (their van clearly smelled of pot) he Pulls up on the sidewalk next to me rolls down his window and says "Man Im totally sorry won't do that..." WAMB! Starts punching me in the face. In front of a crowd of people in front of a starbucks. Everyone pretends like they saw nothing so I try following him to get his plates. Next thing I know Im on my motorcycle facing a mini van revving its engine playing chicken with me. I yelled yelled yelled and people turned off their lights and closed their windows! He comes flying at me so I drove off into someone's yard and ditched the bike. A runner saw what happened and got me plate numbers.... cops did nothing...

====

I now carry a handful of ball bearings in my armored jacket.

dobber

I threw a half full 1 liter bottle of soda at the windshield of a then parked vehicle. The ***** had cut me off to go around a turning vehicle then pulled over to park.

I rode by on the right and threw the bottle. Unfortunately being right handed meant the throw had to go across my body and I also had to turn to get the target in site. The result was I went grossly off balance and almost lost it. Lesson learned, anger leads to unexpected results.

The soda did make quite an impact though as she had just exited the vehicle.........

banerjek

A little more than 10 years ago, I almost pulled a guy out of his van after he hit me and knocked me off the road. I only had minor scrapes, so I wasn't hurt. I rode hard, caught him when he had to stop, tore the door open, and was about to tear into him until I see this look of confused terror in his eyes.

At that moment, I realized he didn't know he'd hit me and had no idea why some maniac was going after him -- i.e. it was an honest mistake. I calmed down, explained what happened, and asked him to watch more carefully for cyclists. Had I been as observant back then as I am now with my mirror, I doubt he would have hit me to begin with.

stringbreaker

When I found out my first wife had been carrying on a 9 month affair with a co-worker I had her up against the wall with my hands around her neck giving her these little squeezes. I never saw fear in someone like that and it scared the crap out of me that I was capable of such violence. I figured right then she wasn't worth the effort and we split up. I've since apologized for that and ask forgiveness from her and from my Lord and Savior he did and she didn't. Not the finest moment in my life but blind rage will do that, I'm only glad I got pulled back from the brink and haven't laid a hand on anyone in anger since.

btmartin

Don't take this post the wrong way, bicyclists have every right to seek sweet revenge on aggressive drivers. But, I am not sure that forwards our ultimate goal: more bikes fewer cars. Plus, when we act aggressively ourselves, we may endanger other more vulnerable cyclists in the future.
That said, the U-lock in the back pocket seems to beg to be wielded sometimes.

ken cummings

Sorry, the statute of limitations hasn't run out on it yet. No comment.

LittleBigMan

Ok. I banged on a guy's tinted, rolled-up window, once, and told him, "You're in trouble!"

Right.

x136 

This old guy tried to right hook me once, so I ****in' rammed his ass.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

Grun

...starts scrounging up $50 bills for an HID