I'm that Fred that rides a Trek and wears a team leopard jersey.

I'm obsessed with being faster than everyone else. If I get passed, I speed up and spend all off my energy getting far enough from the guy behind me so he can't catch up. Then do it again for the next guy I see. I get hurt a lot doing this when I mtb. If I can't pass a random guy it ruins my ride/day. lol so I always have to pass.

I'm a show off, have been since I was a kid.

I'll take any excuse to take my shirt off.

I get distracted on the roads because I too busy eye ****ing every cute chick that drives by.

I used to be a little chunky and lost it. I am now obsessed with my weight, more than some women. I turn down food and lunches at work all the time because I don't want the extra calories.

EDIT:

I HATE maintenance.....I hated cleaning toys when I was a kid as well lol....I always thought that things were meant to be used not cleaned....comes from my father who meticulously maintained all his nice things and tried to teach me to do the same. Perfect example, I wash my car once every 3 mos.

I have a mirror AND a visor on my helmet.

I don't clean my bike or chain often enough.

I'm the slightly overweight guy that can't keep up with the medium-paced group.

I spent almost as much on my bike computer as I did on my bike.

I use a triple and I love it.

Blasphemy!

I'm OCD about prepping for my bike rides.
The night before each ride, I set out all my cloths, put dry coffee in the plunger and pour the cereal in the bowl.
All I have to do when I wake up is boil some water and pour some milk and then i"m ready to go.

I enjoy too many beers or glasses of wine the night before a typical ride.

I have a bell on my road bike - and I use it!

I've failed to wave back at someone who waved at me.

Too many bikes are almost enough! I would also add my "paltry" bank account to the top statement.

I'm not really a mod. The colors from the big star somehow got refracted and absorbed by the little star. I'm a fraud. Sorry.

I don't ride when I don't want to.

i stare at my bike for 30 minutes everyday thinking about what to upgrade next...the total time i stare at my bike is greater the the total time i ride my bike..

i embrace and enjoy way too many Feminine Tendencies. later.

I love Trek.

I used to make fun of cyclists until I got into it.

I stare at your ass a lot.

I spend way too much time on these forums. Way more than I actually do riding. Part of the reason I'm so slow.

what else are we suppose to do at work...

IKnowSrslyRight?

im on a conference call while typing this...

I'm currently debating leaving and going to go ride because I saw my manager leave the office until next Monday already....

im guilty of this as well. im never satisfied with the current set up. i love trek too....i own 3.

I'm all show, no go for the moment.

I regret not getting a CF frame, I think my helmet is ugly and I use my mom's sunglasses cause I couldn't find any good ones that would fit my head.

I use cycling as a way to evade myself from my real life and I enjoy it a lot.

we knew that already Billy.

my wife thinks my bike cost $190...