My 14 year old son has expressed a renewed interest in road cycling with me. We went through a similar situation last year when I started cycling seriously. He rode with me a while on his MTB, and I went out and found him a Cannondale road bike to ride with me. He became a bit frustrated over the brifters on that bike. We ended up selling the bike, but even on his MTB he does not focus on changing both front and rear to suit the situation. I have gotten some smooth tires for it so that we can ride together. He is young, and strong, and has no issue keeping up with me IF he would use the gears properly. I would like for him to learn to use them correctly, as well as to show me that he will keep a sustained interest in the activity this time before possibly buying him a nice entry level road bike later.

I have tried my very best to explain to him in the simplest manner how the gears work, and how the size of them actually has the opposite effect from the front to the rear. I have also tried to explain cross chaining as well. He is constantly forgetting about most commonly the front, but at times he will focus only on either the front or rear derailler without changing the other. It is very common for him to either be grinding away, too hard, or coasting because he is in some low gear. I cannot seem to get through to him how to make the gears work for him. Is there some reading, or some method that you have used that breaks this down in a foolproof and easy to understand way?

I'd suggest taking the front ring out of the equation at least for now until he gets more comfortable with the gearing. Put it on the small ring up front and just have him concentrate on shifting the rear only. I know its anti 41 to use the small ring unless you are climbing, but personally with a good cadence, I don't NEED to go to my big ring except on decents

Yep - what TDRILL said.

I know it will make you grind your teeth - but give up on the cross-chain thing. The idea is for the kid to enjoy cycling - not to have someone continually bothering him with stuff he doesn't understand. Let him run up and down the rear cassette - if he runs out of gears he can treat the front ring as a last resort extra-big change perhaps. He'll work out "using the gears nicely" for himself when he's ready. Enjoy your time with him - in all likelihood your fast approaching those few years where he won't want to be seen with you at all.

Have you tried showing him the differences of the the gears while off the bike, maybe on a stand and changing through them?

You could use some Physics / Maths examples such as the ratios and how they affect the result.

I agree with TDRILL and just let him get on with riding his bike for a time to get more comfortable with his bike/gears and then re-introduce it at a latter time. I have been down that road before and my son he has seen that I have been frustrated trying to get a concept through without any understanding and he then either loses interest or gets upset.

Once my older kids got to 7 or 8 I put them on the trainer and taught them to ride and shift on that. If you get one with an adjustable control, you can sit there and adjust it silently and then the kid has to figure out how to shift to compensate. That's also helpful to watch their pedaling style and make sure they're fitted well.

When intro-ing my 12 yr olds, I had them keep it in the small ring, too. I also made sure to have them think about how fast their feet were going around. I tried to keep the focus off gears/gearing. I only mention if they were pedaling slowly, then shift to an easier gear, and vice-versa. Then, I explain why using 2 muscles in the body: legs and heart/lungs. The heart/lungs will last longer. The legs, while stronger for a few seconds, will tire out. Last, they will enjoy riding much more (it will be easier) if they focus on heart/lungs by spinning their feet faster. It takes awhile, but they've gotten it so far.

Maybe it has something to do with how dad and son relate to each other.

Of this, I have no doubt. Our relationship is...distant. Always has been. I was looking at the riding (and sometimes paintball) as an activity we could enjoy together and perhaps have some bonding time.

Thanks for the suggestions, I will try to focus on just one ring and let him figure it out through the "doing" of it.

You put him in the biggest gear inches combo and take him to a hill. Once he fails going up that, put it in the small ring and appropriate cog and point out how easy it is now.

I would say something like this. "Try to maintain the same tension you feel in your legs all the time. If it's too easy and you are on the flats or going down hill shift into a "harder" gear. If it's too difficult when pedaling uphill shift into an "easier" gear." I think honestly that's the most easily understandable way to explain that to a kid trying to grasp the concept of shifting.

My kid is 21 and it bugs me that she shifts down while she's climbing, instead of anticipating where she needs to be and getting there before it becomes necessary to shift. All that grinding and gnashing of gears gets on my nerves.

Beyond that, I'll second the idea of taking the front gears out of the equation at first. I had to teach my sister how to use a modern 10-speed drivetrain and she was really confused until I told her to just lay off the front der for the time being.

I found that limiting it to a single chainring and then focusing on cadence was the easiest way to get the point across to my son. By building an awareness of his cadence he was also building an awareness of when a shift was needed.

1st off you have to put YOUR mind back to being a kid. Why did we start off pumping those single speed BMX's all over town? It was fun. My 7 yo got her 1st bike with gears this year. 1 chainring and 7 speed hub. Since they know everything, they hate to be told what to do and constant reminders of what gear to be in just turns them off. Your best bet is let them figure it out. Get a slower bike (for you) as well. I use my cruiser or touring bike when I ride with the kids. Just slow down let them ride their pace and enjoy the ride. Stop for lunch or ice cream and enjoy the company of your son part way through the ride. And also realize that your kid may not care about riding, they just want to have fun and spend time with you. Whats the worst that can happen if they ride in the wrong gear? Get tired and need a nap or have to push their bike up a hill. Just get off and push with them.

As we get older (us roadies are the worst!) we forget what fun the ride can be if we just slow down and enjoy the scenery. I have routes that I ride with a group that I never really see until I go with my kids.

Oh, let them grind and clunk the crap out of the gears....so what, it's just a hub. Remember when you started driving or riding? A rear hub is a cheap price to pay for time spent with your kids.

Get him a computer that measures cadence -- the Cateye Astrale 8 can be can be had for less than $30. Then tell him that the cadence should read 90-100 when he's riding and that he'll be fastest (especially on longer distances) if he does this. The number will give him something to watch and focus on.

Canine shock collar. You really only need to juice 'em a couple of times.

When I sold bikes (managed/owned a shop) to parents for their kids, I told them to stay with one ring. We'd even block out the other ring/s when the bike was new, and when the kid started clamoring for more speed we'd unblock the ring (for free).

The biggest rule is shift one gear at a time. The biggest mistake novice riders make is using the lowest or highest gear and nothing in between.

14 years old, the kid is going to have some knowledge of how things work. You shouldn't necessarily dumb things down to a 5 year old's level, but worrying about technical stuff isn't going to help.

I always told people to check where the chain is. More left is lower gears ("left-lower"). More right is higher. If you want to go faster, use higher gears.

Also, although I have no idea who either of you are, if you're all kitted up and your son is even a normal level of self-conscious, it may be that he isn't really motivated to stay with you or he's embarrassed about the bike or something.

Finally, positive reinforcement. When I started learning chess my dad would do things like take away his own queen, bishops, etc and then play me. Or in Go (Japanese strategy game, described as "ruthless" compared to chess), where you have handicap stones (more than 1 or 2 is pretty significant, kind of like golf), he'd lay down 30-40 stones for me. Then we'd play. Eventually he'd play with all his chess pieces and I'd rate just a 4 or 5 stone handicap (my dad was ranked reasonably high in both games in Holland at the time - he was like a Cat 2 bike racer, maybe Cat 1). If you have a mountain bike or even a hybrid, use that when riding with him. Don't demoralize him by sprinting away. Emphasize the positive. "Excellent cadence". "You shifted perfectly as we got into that last climb." "You did great through that intersection, I could see you look at the car to make sure it stopped at its red light before you went through the green light."

Finally, although it may drive him away from the bike, find out what he likes to spend his time doing. If he's passionate about something in particular it may be easier to support that. When I was 14 I was an absolute bike geek - I had the exact opposite problem of your son, I was constantly fiddling with freewheel ratios and such. My parents weren't keen on it (I crashed now and then, roads are narrow, they had regular parental worry, etc), and my mom would have to defend my right to ride as my dad would forbid me from riding every time I crashed. They supported my passion and allowed me to develop it.

Good luck with your son. Even if he doesn't realize it now, he'll appreciate your efforts later.

cdr

try rock climbing with him. nothing like depending on a spotter to build trust and communication. It's good to do something you're both novice at.

Let the kid have fun riding the bike. Kids are smart. He'll figure it out on his own eventually. Probably by watching you!

What he said.

Seriously - I just started riding with my three kids and would suggest you let him discover things himself (he'll learn just by seeing you). As parents, we always feel like we need to impart our sage wisdom on our children. The reality, however, is that kids simply here 'blah blah blah.' Screw the bike. Work on the relationship.

Yes, Go is a ruthless game. I used to play with my dad, and get reduced to tears of frustration at times.

I ride with my almost 11 year old, and I guess I am fortunate that he will talk to me and listen. I ride beside him when approaching a hill, and ask him how he plans to tackle it. He'll tell me what he is planning. I tell him what I am planning. Then we ride up the hill. If he stops midway, I ride back to him, and he usually tells me if he liked what he picked or not.

I have preached to him that it is okay to shift the back in a hill, but never the front, so he has to make his choice before the hill starts. So far so good. And he still likes tackling hills so I haven't scared him off yet.

And +1 on cadence sensor. It gives an item to focus on. And everyone likes gear.

Keep it simple and quit harping on the changing gears. My 13 YO has a simple mantra on shifting...if it gets hard to pedal...shift, If it gets too easy, shift. Encourage him to experiment and do not criticize his choice of gears (that will get old quickly, and pretty soon the biking thing is no longer fun, but a chore.

Physics and Math examples...umm, no! Cycling and play time with Dad or any parent should be a positive experience. Turn it into something else and see how far you get.

He has nothing to worry about my sprinting away, he is stronger and more fit than I am. He has his own kit, that he chose, and the interest in cycling was his own decision.
Thanks for the tips.