We fought about it for an hour or so, but she finally relented and let me have fun. ​She's so great.

hindsight = 20/20

once its over its a lot easier to evaluate the reasons why things were the way they were, and at least in my case it meant that "the end" was really more of a beginning than anything

Good to hear. Do yourself a favor and make a mental, or physical, note about the things that you've discovered in hindsight. Start making a list of things you absolutely need from a relationship and a list of things you absolutely cannot have in a relationship. Use these lists to evaluate future relationships.

This.

It was atleast half the reason why my prvs relationship ended

Relationship advice from 25-year-old on bfssfg ftw.

The internet is a wonderful place.

ftfy

Age is a red herring. Unless you're openly disagreeing with my opinions, in which case, I'll happily point you to the volumes of literature on the subject of what makes healthy relationships.

i love how i turned today i: into an episode of dr phil

It is good advice and I didn't intend to belittle it, but it might take a bit more when you find out your wife has leukemia or that your son is autistic or you can't find work in your field or whatever. The strength of a relationship isn't just built on the sense of identity that each partner has.

Take the facial hair case. I know a dude who has a beard and his wife is a little older than he is. He knows she's insecure about this so he keeps the beard because it makes him look older. He's not subverting his identity, he's showing respect and kindness, in a way that she might not even be aware of. His sense of self-identity is enhanced by his recognition that he is in a relationship.

A good relationship won't just let you do you it will let you do you more than you realized you could.

People have all different kinds of relationships, for all different kinds of reasons. Some people do just fine in a D/s or co-dependent relationship because that particular brand of crazy is a good fit for both parties.

Also, people can and often do change in relationships. The free and easy type can easily turn into a dominating ***** with just the right amount of push. Likewise, the insecure clingy type can discover a sense of independence with the feeling of safety a stable relationship can provide. We are all delicate snowflakes.

Can we change the ****ing subject now?

OKOK just 1 more thing:

Jandro you've mentioned your gf doesn't care if you're late because you had some beers instead of being on time without explicitly calling me out. Do you mean to say that your gf doesn't care if you're late? Like, ever?

What is she already left the bar from hanging with her friends to meet you on time? This was more the situation i was referring too - if you let her know if advance than you're not really late and its all good

You should only care if your gf is late.

HEY-O.

But in all srsness lets biekz again now plz

Today I'm trying to decide if I should just use my rain jalopy during the winter or if I should consider getting something that can take studded tires.

Guess I'll think about my ex all day. lulz.

Today I'm tired because I was cuttin' a rug at a swing dancing joint last night. Best kind of tired besides long bike ride.

Today I cleaned and assembled shower tile mats. The joy of being the person in this place that has a clue on how to use their hands.

crap i meant to delete my post

man work has been a whirlwind today... ive got so much done in the past 5hrs!!!!

if i wasnt so tied up in the lab still id take a long lunch and get a beer but the flow rate on my filtration loop is running a little slow today

My wife's gonna let me trade up to the new iPad!

Calling you out, specifically? That wasn't my intention, sorry if it seemed like I was!

If my gf and I have plans at a specific time, of course I'll be on time. I was more referring to the times that it's a more casual set up. Specific example that I've had: "Hey, I'm going on a 50-60mi bike ride, I should be done around 1 and then we can figure out what we want to do with our evening." Ride goes long, I want to lunch with ride buddies, so I text saying "Hey, going to be home around 3, shower, and head out." This has happened a handful of times and it's never been an issue. My apologies usually get a response like the following: "No worries, baby! No rush, enjoy lunch! [sometimes: added: "I'm out with so-and-so, see you soon"].

My girlfriend happens to prefer my beard, but every time I mentioned that she says, "You can shave it off if you want, you know. You're handsome regardless." The reason I bring this up is because I have friends that have told me they'd love to grow a beard (even a small one) but the gf says absolutely not and I think that's kind of a bummer.

In closing, I know relationships are more than letting your partner do the things they want to do and supporting them. They have real, serious hardships and both parties need to rise to those challenges in order to emerge on the other side intact and, hopefully, stronger for it. But having a solid, openly communicative, supportive base is essential to build upon. All too often, it's the little things that speak volumes about how they will react and handle the larger things. One thing my gf's mom told her to always pay attention to: take note of how your partner handles stressful, angry situations. Are they combative? Do they lash out? Do they keep a calm level head? Even if it's something small like losing their keys/wallet. It could be a good indicator of how they will deal with larger stressful situations.

Back to bikes:

Today I am antsy to get home and start assembling parts onto the Merckx frame. I also had a pretty good lunch.

That's all she's worth?

Nah, but a running joke is that I'm gonna trade her in for 2 15-year olds now that she's 30.

Ah, word. Glad we're on the same page :thumb:

As a cyclist, I deal with the "see you after my ride" situations all the time, like pretty much every weekend. Those r understandably flexible.

That sounds illegal!