"Are you going to the Olympics?" - Kid at Canungra, 2000.

"Can I have my photo taken with you?" Japanese tourist at the top of Springbrook, 1999 (a <1,000 metre climb).

Something totally incoherent while waving a blow-up rubber doll (I kid you not) out the window of a car - some idiot at Burleigh Heads, 2000.

Apart from that, just the usual "Get off the f---ing road!"

The guy that amuses me the most.
The sales-rep who pays a visit once a week, he always makes a beeline for me, to ask me without fail "cycle in to work this morning John", yeh sure I did , never miss i tell him every time.

It must have been kind`a cold on the bike this morning or wet or hot, never noticed it i usually reply.

He then proceeds to tell me of his own, either weekend cycle rides or that he has just purchased a spanking top of the range cycle, according to this tale he seems to change bikes more often than i change my socks.

I always look foward to this guy`s visit, it amuses me highly,
mostly because i don`t believe a word he tells me of his cycling exploits. I just go along with it to humour him.

How could anyone believe someone who must weigh at least 18 st with a huge stomach hanging over their belt and more chins than the Biejing phone directory.

Afterwards I always feel a little sympathy towards him as it is obviously wishfull thinking on his behalf.
That reminds me he will be in tomorrow

The funniest thing I've heard, from a couple of hitchhikers as I biked past them: "Can I get a lift".

I've had that a couple of times in the past during "schoolies' week"

Oh I've got a few:

I taught you rode to work everyday?
I usually do, but I had to drive, have some errands to run after lunch.
Well it's nice to see you use a more mature way to get to work....



It's raining, want me to drive you?
No thanks that's fine.
You sure? I don't mind.
No really I have all the rain gear
You'll get wet.
Riding in the rain is fun!
It'll fit in my car no problem.
No it's a pain to take the thing apart and it's only 5km to my house. But I appreciate the offer.
It's on may way.
No I LIKE to ride.
I'd hate to see you get wet, are you sure?
I SAID NO DAMNIT!!!!!


Don't you get hot and sweaty?

How far was that again? Oh bullsh@@T!

Only kids and weirdos ride bikes.

Won't people think you're gay?

What if you get a flat?

Can't you get a little motor for that?


My all time favourite:
You paid how much?!!? I can get the same thing at Walmart for $100!!

Yesterday, I'm keeping to 30 km/h in a 30 km/h zone. A car comes up behind me and starts honking. I keep riding, but she swerves beside me and shouts through the open window "hey, I'm trying to pass," before she zooms by. Half a block and a couple of seconds later, she's at a stop light, and I pull up at her window. "You were speeding."

Her: "I couldn't have been speeding, I just passed you..."

One of my favorites is " so how many days did it take to ride a hundred miles?"

haha, funny you mention that, I heard it earlier today when I was showing a friend of mine my new bike

i rode 52 miles at a brisk pace in harsh winds yesterday. a friend came over and asked what i did today....i said 'nothing, just hung out' and my wife says "you rode 52 miles today...what do you mean you did nothing>"

I confess I have a weird fetish...to me there is nothing in the world like getting out on the open road ahead of a good storm system. The wind, the smell of the rain, the lightning. I know, I know, that's a potentially stupid way to die, but it's a rush nonetheless. In fact one of the few times I actually accepted an offer to give me a lift home was during a storm that got VERY bad. I had been doing ok until the hail started and then I was lucky enough to be near a church with a slight overhang on the front. I was thinking I could just wait it out when out of nowhere a neighbor goes flying past in her minivan.I don't know how she saw me in all that rain, but she whipped that thing around and came back. I was secretly rolling my eyes and thinking "here we go, the "don't you know it's raining?" lecture. " She didn't say that at all. Instead she just hollered "GET IN THERE IS A TORNADO."
Needless to say, the bike hit the bushes and I hit the minivan. Bet her seat was wet for a week. That was also the only time in ten years that I have come home without my bike.

LOL! Winner!!

Every time I ride to work my co-workers ask, as I walk in with my bike, "Did you ride to work to day?" I always respond with, "Na, I just felt like carrying my bike on my motorcycle, here's your sign."
Slainte

Uh, do you wear underwear underneath that?

Reminds me of the comment I heard through an open window (which I ignored,) "Hey, you're not a CAR!"

Hey, that's what I call, "thinking on your feet!"

I was doing some cyclocross with a couple of friends on Mount Royal the other day. We stopped at a water fountain near the Chalet to re-fill. A couple we had just passed ambles by; the man is explaining something to his mate:

"They shave them so that, when they crash, the injury isn't so bad." [Obviously talking about us...]

Enrico says, in casual voice, just loud enough so the couple might here: "Naw, we just like the way it looks."

Other possible lines:

"we shave so we can wear nylons. We're cyclo-crossdressers."

"It's because we like the manly feel of stubble."

Years ago I worked on grave shift, a new female co-worked noticed my shaved legs and said "Do you shave your legs because you ride a bike?"
"Actually", I replied, "Since I work grave shift, I don't get sleep with my wife much. And when I'm laying in bed, feeling alone, I just reach down and feel my shaved legs - it's the next best thing to her being right there."
She just stared at me while, with much retraint, I kept a straight face. "Oh", was the only thing she said and walked away.

On my way to a ride, and wearing the jersey/shorts/shoes "do you race?"

When i forget my regular shoes, and walk around the office in my spd's "Are those orthopedic shoes?" " Those new bowling shoes?'

Parents
"You spend more on bikes than you do your truck"
"I just don't get it. Why ride 63 miles, when you can drive?"


I also get the "well my bike did not cost that much".

One of my favorites is, "Are you still riding your bike?"

I never get tired of that one, no matter how many times I hear it!

"No, not anymore. I parked it when I got inside the building."



I guess people see me as "going through a phase," or a "middle-age crisis" of some sort and expect me to grow out of it eventually.

"Are you still driving your car? I expected you to grow out of that by now!"

(Just kidding, I'm not trying to be mean. It's just a little "cyclists' humor." After all, when no one else among the hundreds of people here cycle to work, where else can I let off the steam but BikeForums? Just think of me as a crazy, gradually aging cyclist.)

Along the lines of "it cost how much?" I had my bike (Colnago Master) in my classroom yesterday (this was one of the workdays for teachers before kids report back) and a colleague walks in and starts checking out the bike. Wanted to know if the shoes stayed in the pedals after you got off the bike. I told him no, you get to keep shoes on your feet when you're at a stop sign.

My ride is pretty sedate for a 'nago but it still stands out so I knew the inevitable was coming.

"Pretty expensive, huh?"

I just smiled as I really didn't want to get into the "cost" conversation.

"Musta been a couple of hundred bucks."

I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled. It would be nice though if he were right.

Neighbor sitting on his porch with a beer, "hey you're gonna lose too much weight".

Yeah, the cost thing really is the funniest part. Everyone thinks i'm nuts for spending over 1000 dollars on a bike.

One time a co-worker was standing over my bike, cigaret hanging from his lip, says "You gotta be friggen insane to pay over 2 grand for this!!".
I looked at him and said "If I'm the crazy one out of the two of us because of the way we spend our money, then sanity it waaaay overrated".

Standard stop-light exchange while riding on snowy or especially cold days.

Motorist (or passenger): "Are you #!&%ing crazy?"

Me (deadpan): "No, we just went out a few times".