this has nothing to do with mountain biking, but that hasn't stopped me before, and since this is a pretty dead forum (according to one thread)....

so there i am standing around in the bike shop. i have a bicycle tattoo clearly visible on my arm (the arm in the avatar is mine). a couple walk in, i greet them with a "hey, how's it going? do you have any questions i can help you with?" and the lady looks right at me, and being totally serious, asks me, to my face "do you ride bicycles?"

now, i understand you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, and you shouldn't just jump to conclusions and make judgments on people you don't know, but if a guy with a bicycle tattoo on his arm, wearing some kind of bicycle product shirt and/or socks, standing in a bicycle shop, asks you if you have any questions he can help you with, wouldn't it be relatively safe to assume he probably rides a bicycle?

the crazy thing about it all is...it happened TWO TIMES that day. two different ladies over the course of the day, two separate instances, completely unrelated to each other, and it happened. the only two times i was ever asked that question while at my place of employment, both on the same day.

other than that, i just saw the avengers, it was a good movie. i think the hulk had the two best scenes.

Didn't you ever read MAD Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? You just need to arm yourself with a couple or three so that when the occasion presents itself again (oh, and you know it will), you will be ready. Something like:

"Well, no - - I actually only ride unicycles. I'm saving up to buy two wheels next time."

or

"Only on the days I'm not bungee jumping."

Of course, it is tempting to get really flip and sarcastic as your imagination will let you . Then again, if you're not too harsh, I'll bet most people would take it in the spirit it's given and realize on their own what a foolish question it was to begin with.

I got similar the other day.

Heading home from a little spin at Graham Hills ( in Pleasantville, NY) stopped by the local coffee joint on the way home. Pulled up/parked way in front.

Coffee jerk: wow, that's a nice bike. is it yours?

Me; uh, huh? yeah.

Reminded me of the moment in "Dumb and Dumber" when Harry is at the gas station. "Are those your skis?" uh-huh. "Both of 'em?"

Like asking the price of an item while in the Dollar Store.

Well you might have a bicycle tattoo on your arm because you kill bicycles, and you were in the shop on the hunt.

We get calls at the shop asking if we repair bikes probably daily.

Yeah, well, at least you get the assumption of being a bike rider. I tell people I ride and they laugh asking, "YOU? you ride bicycles?" more laughter.

Not quite as good, but I was at the Trek shop today getting one last measurement to order some shock bushings, & a lady walks in with a Murray bike asking to use the bike pump.

-"So what kind of bikes do y'all sell here? Huffy? Mongoose?"
-"We sell Treks."
-"What's a 'trek'?"

Literally dozens of bikes on either side with Trek stamped all over them, & a huge sign above the front door that says "Trek Bicycles".

Dude at counter: "Is that for here?"

Me: "No."

Dude: "To go?"

Me: "..."

"I was actually going to stop midway through the door & eat it there, is it okay if I grab a chair?"

So Pablo, *do* you in fact ride a bike?

LOL!

(Used to be it was very intimidating and disorienting for me to walk into a bike shop. I'm sure I'm guilty of my share of boneheaded questions).

i am sure i've provided way more than my fair share of boneheaded questions, i know i've provided some hilarious after work stories for people to tell their friends...we all get our turn....

Hahaha. Nice.
While I do think that's a dumb question, because every bike shop should repair bikes, we do have two bike shops here in Madison that only sell bikes. It sounds dumb, and shouldn't need to be asked, but I guess maybe it's a legit question depending on where you live? My guess is that those shops just decided that since there are so many bike shops around here that it was simply more profitable for them to only sell bikes and not bother putzing around fixing them? I don't know about the industry, but that's all that makes sense to me.

Years ago, when we at Wally had to wear those stupid blue vests, I was asked, "Do you work here?"

I looked down at the vest and my name badge, and -- wide-eyed, with surprise in my voice -- said, "Oh my god, yes I do!"

Another time, a VERY elderly man approached me: "Where is the Kleenex?"

I pointed quietly to the shelves to his left, about four feet away.

He stood there for a loooong moment, a slightly embarrassed smile fighting not to come out.........

Up until two months ago I had to wear a bright blue smock that said "Rite Aid" in big letters on the front, & I still got that question all the time. Sometimes even while standing behind the register.

Wanted to fire up the old 1990 Bridgestone. Needed adjustment and cables. So I call the LBS to ask if they had time to do it right now while I wait.

Guy says bring it in.
Me. Now?
Guy. No next year.
Me. Do I need an appointment.
Guy. Let me check my reservation log.
Me. Be there in ten minutes you idiot.
Guy. Hurry up moron.

Got there, turns out we are both two sarcastic peas in a pod. Good mechanic too.

Last week I had someone come into the shop and ask "Is this a bike shop?" The next question was "Do you sell bikes here?" while we were surrounded by racks of bikes with price tags hanging off of them. A few days before that I got "Do you own a carbon race bike or do you not ride?" like that was the only option.

That is actually a serious question. I know some shops that don't, at least not real well.

You might be surprised how many people who work in bike shops don't actually ride regularly....kinda scary

I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and was wearing my shorts, clipless shoes, and my helmet and a lady asked, "Do you ride a bicycle?"

My reply was, "No... I just fall down a lot".

We both had a good laugh as she realized it was a silly question and what she really wanted to know was where the best place to buy a bicycle was.

In the convenience store I used to manage, we had had the ;loaves of bread next to the cash register. People would come to the register and as "Where's the bread?" they went red when I said "look down."

Yet again, still true at my job.

I manage to get out some idiotic questions from time to time. The best recently:


[Girlfriend enters apartment wearing jersey and bike shorts and pushing her road bike]

Me: Didja go on a bike ride?

Her: What do you think?