What's your best story including alcohol related incidents?

I once got a BUI in Santa Cruz. Cost me $50 or something. I fell off my bike at a stoplight next to a cop. Duh.

I think I passed out somewhere between falling off my bike and hitting the ground with my face. I had been drinking & otherwise intoxicating myself. It was lightly snowing outside and I ignored my friend when he encouraged me to take the subway (at 4am, it's a long time to wait for a train). I think I went over one of those metal construction plates and slipped. But I don't remember actually falling. I vaguely remember my face hitting the ground, but not the fall itself. I ended up with a black eye and a few scrapes on my face. A friend of mine nearby let me crash at her place for the night, and then I was interviewed by another friend who's writing his dissertation on messengers the next morning. I looked (and felt) like ****. I told several different lies about how I got the black eye.

They had better have been ridiclous.

I know a guy who claims he "regularly" passes out on the way home from where ever he got sh*tfaced that night, but he's always lucid enough to lock his bike to himself with one of those handcuff style bike locks. Sounds fun, eh?

and while you're discussing illegal activities online with people you don't know on an open forum, why don't you tell us about all the other laws you've broken, too!

tink's gotta chime in on this one.

i have more trouble riding when im not drinking.

Weekend of the Fest last year, that Friday.



I have zero recollection of crashing. I partly remembering carrying the bike across 16th ave on my good shoulder, and that i set up old tshirts around the bed when I passed out so that I wouldn't bleed all over the sheets.

*chime*

the officer was above me with a flash light
"son, are you okay?"

i sat up and saw the parked cruiser with lights flashing
there was grass in my mouth.

the paramedics showed up and looked me over
saw that i wasn't broken and was rapidly sobering

1 1/2 miles back to my appartment with an official escort
ten feet back and 5 to my left, lights on, the spot shining the road infront of me.

i've never ridden straighter.
good times. good time.

ahh yess, its a pirate's life for me!

Oh, and there was the one time I got arrested since I had a bench warrant for some open container charge I lost track of. Ran a red light, about 3am, plastered and on codeine. Was about 130 yards from home. The cop was actually ok, just wanted to make sure I was going to get home alright, but once my name went out over the thing it was all Alachua County Lockup.

Okay, one story I'll tell because it was legal (enough) to bike drunk where I was...anyway, the cops wouldn't have even gone to the area of town I was in after dark.

I was working and living for several months in Guatemala, and on my visits to town (Xela) I would go out for drinks and chats with folks in the local bars since there was no nightlife where I was working. Went out one night and met a woman who was studying at a local language school who was out with her friends. Havana Club Anejo rum was only $6/bottle there, so we got a bottle and laughed the night away long after all of her friends had gone home.

Suddenly, the bar was closed, the taxis were gone, and she was stranded. Her not wanting to walk home alone (no one should walk alone at night there, especially northern females not fluent in spanish and heavily armed) and me wanting to spend more time with her, I offered her a ride on my top tube (no crude jokes, please) and away we went. She was staying way out of town in the dirt streets area (zona 7, I think.) It was a little wobbly going with me drunk and carrying an extra 100 lbs, but we made it there safe enough. Kissed a little, made plans to meet up again, and I was off.

I decided to take (what I thought was) a shortcut back to the office. Suddenly, three HUGE dogs crested a small hill near the road, took one look at me and started the chase. They were fast and snarling (wild dogs rule the night in Guate) and I was scared to death. I rode as fast as that old clunker could take me, not breathing, not looking back. Then I stopped. I turned around and saw that there were no dogs behind me.

(Here's where the drunkenness comes into play)

I started to think that maybe I had imagined the dogs. After all, they had disappeared so fast. I decided to go investigate. (remember: pleantiful cheap, good rum, cute girl, brain not working.) They heard me coming long before I knew they were there. I turned as fast as I could, but one of them got a little snip in on my leg. I sped away to the office. That's where I noticed the blood. Next morning, hospital, begin rabies treatment (NOT FUN.) But being in treatment meant much more frequent trips back to town, which meant more cheap, good rum and more time with fun girl. Four years and two months later (one month ago) we got married.

Depending on who I was talking to, I told different lies about my black eye. I told different lies to people at the same parties or at work. That made it very fun.

1) I told my bosses I got in a barfight for some reason. "Felipe mouthed off and I had no choice but to get involved. I didnt' want to, but it happened".

2) Closest to the truth: Central Park road race. The newbie in front of me hit his brakes and I crashed into him. Definitely wasn't my fault.

3) "I was in a Brooklyn Critical Mass. I didn't think they were arresting people out there, but apparently they are. The cop yanked me off my bike and threw me to the ground. Spent the night in jail. I've totally got a lawsuit on my hands." (I had a 15 minute conversation about it with a friend who DID spend the night in jail for mouthing off to a cop once. Never did he think I was full of it.)

4) Best one: I was in a deli buying some beer, and this dude comes in and sticks up the guy at the counter. He clocks me across the face, shoves me into a wall, and runs away with the money.

Occassionaly, I'd tell all three stories to people at the same place, then have to tell it a fourth time when everyone was around. "I thought you were in a barfight?" "I thought you got arrested at Critical Mass?" Yeah, actually, I got drunk & fell off my bike.

awsome story
congratulations!!


hahahah
been there

1) Riding home from Manhattan to my deep-in-Brooklyn apartment, 4:30 a.m., drunk beyond belief, and light snow is becoming heavy snow. Slogging up the incline of the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn bridge, I become very tired and actually consider getting off an walking the bike. Luckily, alcohol amplifies foolish pride, and I become determined not to give in. I dig in and start to mash with all my might, just as I'm reaching the first suspension tower. The problem, of course, is taht mashing mightily on slick tires and snow-covered wooden bridge walkways causes total loss of traction and fishtailing. So the stone wall of the suspension tower is suddenly approaching me at what seems like an ungodly speed while the bike seems to be going totally sideways. Somehow I managed to catch the wall with my hands and sort of vault off the saddle in such a way that I spun in the air and came crashing down on my back while the bike rolled a little farther, glanced off the wall, and came to rest about fifteen feet from me. I spent about 20 minutes looking up into the snow, feeling aches all over me, and wondering whether I would freeze to death if I just lay there and slept till morning. I finally decided to get up because I was worried that if I fell asleep someone would jack my bike.

2) Very drunk, going from a bar to a party, I came across a very small tricycle in the trash on the street and resolved to ride it, despite my buddies' yelling at me to just keep walking. I mounted the thing, gave one push forward with my legs, and went over a kerb. The front wheel was so small that it just stopped when it hit the street, but my big body had plenty of momentum, and my stupid hands continued to grip the trike handlebars, so I pitched forward and slammed my chin against the pavement, causing me to spend the rest of the evening discreetly bleeding into the sleeve of my (thankfully) dark-colored coat.

i got a lil distracted riding home one night while riding with no hands. i was taking a turn and over corrected when i saw a parked car coming my way. i knocked the side view mirror off with the side of my head.

that's what i call an happy ending

It costs $118 to replace the tail light on a Ford Explorer.

HAHAHA

ha! not too bad.

Was riding home from a bar, next to the cab my wife was in. I waved at her when I passed them. We both stopped at a red light, but I forgot to put my foot down. Fell over right in front of the cab. The driver asked my wife if I was her boyfriend. She said, "Sadly, no. That's my husband." He then asked if I was crazy. She said, "No, just a little stupid." I got up, rode home, laughing all the way, and still beat the cabbie by about two minutes.

I rode home drunk the other night. The drunkest I have ever been in my life. Real smart. Somewhere along the way I lost my wallet. I usually keep it in my bag while I ride but hey, I was drunk. I learned from my mistakes. Dumb dumb DUMB.

sophomore year in college, old friends visiting from out of town... they're drinking 40s and i'm impatient and drinking vodka to get ready to go out. i ended up drinking a bottle of absolute, 2 shots of 151, and a 22 of bass in about 40 minutes. then i decide i cant wait around any longer for these guys... take off on my bmx and then things get foggy. i rode around for a bit, went to a bonfire with some crustie squatters, offended a friend by telling her "you look like a girl tonight!" and then remembered we were supposed to meet a friend who lived on the other side of campus. i was so drunk i couldn't really see, so while riding i'd look over my shoulder to see if a car was coming, and if the blurry brightness that seemed to be carlights appeared to be far enough away i'd just kinda close my eyes and turn, hoping i was right.

i ended up on my friends dorm, which was inhabitted mostly by future sorority girls, with a cold-sweat and vomitting my brains out. my bike and i were finally put in another friends car and taken back to my apt where my friends were still sitting on the couch drinking 40s

i got super ****faced once and changed my back tire without remembering to top off my spoke fluid. oh my what a mess!

**** yeah!