Today I:
03-02-12 | 12:29 AM
#9876
Hi, I'm Bryan.
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,650
Likes: 0
From: Chicago
Bikes: 2010 Focus Mares
I've realized that.
When I stopped smoking for a month a few months ago, the manic side of me (I'm the ****ing man, no one **** with me) sort of disappeared. At the same time, the depressive side of me started to define me.
Do I self medicate because I have mental illness, or do I have mental illness because I self medicate?
I want professional help. I've had suicidal thoughts for a few weeks now. Cry more, call a hotline, HTFU, whatever. I'm too big of a ***** to actually do it, so I think I'm safe for now.
Why do I share this with strangers? Obviously, I'm ****ing toys-in-the-attic crazy. I was also wondering if anyone else felt this way before or currently. I'm really not a bad guy, but my dependence on substance abuse is really starting to change me, for the worse. My personal friendships are falling apart.
When I stopped smoking for a month a few months ago, the manic side of me (I'm the ****ing man, no one **** with me) sort of disappeared. At the same time, the depressive side of me started to define me.
Do I self medicate because I have mental illness, or do I have mental illness because I self medicate?
I want professional help. I've had suicidal thoughts for a few weeks now. Cry more, call a hotline, HTFU, whatever. I'm too big of a ***** to actually do it, so I think I'm safe for now.
Why do I share this with strangers? Obviously, I'm ****ing toys-in-the-attic crazy. I was also wondering if anyone else felt this way before or currently. I'm really not a bad guy, but my dependence on substance abuse is really starting to change me, for the worse. My personal friendships are falling apart.
If you ever need someone to chat with, feel free to DM me and I'll send you my email and phone number. I know what you're going through, and I'd love to help.
03-02-12 | 01:34 AM
#9877
THE STUFFED
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,671
Likes: 21
From: San Francisco, CA
Bikes: R. Sachs Simplicity; EAI Bareknuckle; Madone SLR9 Gen 8
ZOMG EOS 5D MkIII
=> it's been so long and there's a new one!!!
Not impressed cosmetically through; it's as if canon just added an extra I to a mkII through... but innards, innards are what matter.... although they seem to be an appetizer compared to the d800.. =/
=> it's been so long and there's a new one!!!
Not impressed cosmetically through; it's as if canon just added an extra I to a mkII through... but innards, innards are what matter.... although they seem to be an appetizer compared to the d800.. =/
03-02-12 | 07:16 AM
#9878
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 260
Likes: 0
From: Jakarta, Indonesia
Bikes: Bridgestone NJS
today I bought these for my raleigh
hope will be good with my 17T cog, brakeless
hope will be good with my 17T cog, brakeless
03-02-12 | 08:32 AM
#9879
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 83
Likes: 0
From: Alberta
Bikes: Specialized Tricross Singlecross, Fuji Tiara, Univega Alpina 5.3, Vitus 979
03-02-12 | 08:55 AM
#9880
Would you just look at it
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 1,554
Likes: 5
From: Denver
Bikes: good ones.
Thanks everybody for the kind words. I am leaving pretty soon to see my first appointment.
ZOMG. They made them in black? Where do I get this?
NOS?
NOS?
Last edited by GMJ; 03-02-12 at 09:26 AM.
03-02-12 | 09:38 AM
#9882
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 812
Likes: 0
From: State College, PA
Bikes: Caad9, Fixed gear, Hardrock beater, 3 speed cruiser
Today not a single **** was given in statistics class, spring break in t-minus 22 minutes.
03-02-12 | 09:53 AM
#9883
Your cog is slipping.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 26,053
Likes: 100
From: Beverly MA
Bikes: EAI Bareknuckle
03-02-12 | 10:01 AM
#9884
Brown Bear, Sqrl Hunter
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,244
Likes: 28
From: San Jose, CA
Bikes: CAAD 10 4, Dolan DF4, Fuji Track Classic
Today I was running to catch the train in my clipless shoes and slipped and fell right on my ass. Now my lower back hurts.
03-02-12 | 10:07 AM
#9885
i smell bacon
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 5,574
Likes: 1
Bikes: Geekhouse Deerfield, GT Edge Ti, Spooky Skeletor, TET Track, Ritchey P-650b, Bridgestone MB-3
Today is "Unofficial St. Patrick's Day" at UIUC.
03-02-12 | 10:12 AM
#9886
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 260
Likes: 0
From: Jakarta, Indonesia
Bikes: Bridgestone NJS
it's not black, it's a bit dark blue...bought it from my friend, yeap NOS 
I've done 46-16 brakeless before so I think I'll survive with this new ratio (49-17)
I've done 46-16 brakeless before so I think I'll survive with this new ratio (49-17)
03-02-12 | 02:00 PM
#9887
.
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,027
Likes: 0
From: Columbus
Bikes: Pegueot UO8, Tommaso Augusta
whatevs, 50/17 brakeless
03-02-12 | 03:13 PM
#9888
Fresh Garbage
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 13,190
Likes: 30
From: Los Angeles
Bikes: N+1
other tall guy decided to not buy my tall frame. 
Anyone want a 67cm frame?
Anyone want a 67cm frame?
03-02-12 | 03:20 PM
#9889
Goes to 11.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,548
Likes: 4
From: Wichita, KS, USA
Bikes: 2015 Soma Double Cross
Got my formal full-time job offer at work! Getting a tattoo this weekend to celebrate. Next up is house shopping.
03-02-12 | 04:56 PM
#9890
沒有腳踏車的居民
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,283
Likes: 0
From: Honolulu, HI
Bikes: Mericier Kilo TT Pro
I've seen doctors about depression before, back when I was a kid and not too long ago. I'm really good at covering up feelings, so they attributed it to minor/major depression, and brushed me off. I'm not going to take prescription drugs, because from I've seen, that makes the people worse.
I need valid diagnosis before I start treating myself though. Or else I probably will end up killing myself by driving my psychosis farther along.
What I hope to find are possible and reoccurring triggers that shift my mood, how to recognize them, and how to deal with them so I don't go all Gary Busey on everyone on the reg.
I appreciate the responses and even that ******** picture. lol.
I need valid diagnosis before I start treating myself though. Or else I probably will end up killing myself by driving my psychosis farther along.
What I hope to find are possible and reoccurring triggers that shift my mood, how to recognize them, and how to deal with them so I don't go all Gary Busey on everyone on the reg.
I appreciate the responses and even that ******** picture. lol.
But good luck with everything.
03-02-12 | 05:02 PM
#9891
sniffin' glue
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,177
Likes: 0
From: Seattle
Bikes: Surly crosscheck ssfg, Custom vintage french racing bike, Bruce Gordon Rock & Road
LOL, yeah, it is an invented science.
Surprisingly, your diet can have a major effect on your mental state and well being. Look into it.
Surprisingly, your diet can have a major effect on your mental state and well being. Look into it.
03-02-12 | 05:11 PM
#9892
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 124
Likes: 0
ya i've read this somewhere also. i forget where but i read that eating cashews helped some people cure depression. worth a shot?
03-02-12 | 05:15 PM
#9893
Goes to 11.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,548
Likes: 4
From: Wichita, KS, USA
Bikes: 2015 Soma Double Cross
Here comes the quackery.
03-02-12 | 05:37 PM
#9894
Not actually Tmonk
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 17,292
Likes: 6,078
From: San Diego, CA
Bikes: road, track, mtb
03-02-12 | 05:46 PM
#9895
i'll probably break it
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,665
Likes: 2
today i got super stoked but it was a false alarm.
i did eat ribs for dinner, so that was pretty good.
i did eat ribs for dinner, so that was pretty good.
03-02-12 | 06:12 PM
#9897
Still kicking.
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 19,659
Likes: 47
From: Annandale, New Jersey
Bikes: Bike Count: Rising.
Today I was on the 930 for 12 hours.....
Miles: Massive
Miles: Massive
__________________
Appreciate the old bikes more than the new.
Appreciate the old bikes more than the new.
03-02-12 | 06:14 PM
#9898
Not actually Tmonk
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 17,292
Likes: 6,078
From: San Diego, CA
Bikes: road, track, mtb
jesus christ
i like cycling, but not that much lol. way to go.
i like cycling, but not that much lol. way to go.
__________________
"Your beauty is an aeroplane;
so high, my heart cannot bear the strain." -A.C. Jobim, Triste
"Your beauty is an aeroplane;
so high, my heart cannot bear the strain." -A.C. Jobim, Triste
03-02-12 | 07:08 PM
#9900
沒有腳踏車的居民
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,283
Likes: 0
From: Honolulu, HI
Bikes: Mericier Kilo TT Pro
- chicken/turkey
- salmon/mackerel
- cheddar/swiss cheese
- spinach
- citrus fruits
- whole wheat (I personally enjoy rye more)
- Popcorn (supposedly for the carbs)
- Water
Also, St. John's Wart, 5HTD, omega 3s, vitamin D, vitamin C, protein, folic acid, tryptophan, selenium.
There's a ton more to what you might eat may help, but just for a few.