I spit on cars that encroach on the bike lane while turning and stopped, have gotten a few looks from drivers

Third confession:
I get my left and right mixed up all the time. Just like a Salmon.

I did untill my teacher told me that when i get confused i should make the letter "L" with my hand (thumb and index finger) and it will only work with the left hand! . I hope ur not joking lol


My confession is that every cyclist that passes me im thinking.. "i can smoke him/her" lol

I once lubed a chain with vegetable oil.

Lefty loosey, righty tighty helps me remember which way to turn the wrench, remember that when you're using those fancy new Park tools.

If there are no cars at an intersection, I will bomb the red light.

If you look at your drop bars from above the left side makes an L as well.

Oh shucks!

You people crack me up.

Most of the time I get it correct, but I do sometimes drive my coworkers loopy. They will say "I see it, it's on your left."

So I look right and they say "No! Your other left."

I'm ok with nuts and bolt even when they are reverse thread, although I did get lost when I was turning those spoke nipple.

I must confess that I simply don't understand this US anxiety (nothing personal you understand) about wearing proper bike shorts. I take it you mean lycra/spandex?

Non-cyclist objections seem to oscillate between "Lance Armstrong wannabe - yah boo sucks" and "gay - yah boo sucks/bound for hellfire and damnation".

Why, in any comparison between LAW and lard rippling saggy ass it is the latter which is regarded as more desirable, I simply don't know

Ha! These are all me as well. Except for the fixie bit.

I like the weight weenie insanity and weighing things in grams, but can't for the life of me kick my soda habit or bother to just count calories. Absolutely pathetic.

Also, I just put clipless pedals on my commuter and embarrassingly tried a bunny hop in public. I didn't fall, but couldn't get the rear wheel to come up and I'm sure I looked like an idiot.

And not being able to ride with no hands does bother me, but I'm always too scared to practice. I need a mountain bike...

I learned to ride no-handed while swatting flies.

I bought my wife commuting lights so I could steal and add them to my own bike (not replace).

I like to pretend I'm saving money by bike commuting, even though there's a free bus that stops 50m outside my door and 10m from my office door.

One of the steepest grades (rather short) on my commute home, which lies in a pretty quiet residential area, has a stop sign at the bottom. When I'm riding home later at night, I'll put my hands on the brake levers and watch for headlight beams coming from the perpendicular street. If I don't see anything before ~100ft left to the intersection, I rip through it and enjoy the boost gravity gave me....

I can hardly ride with no hands..

Im quick to fly the bird on people who I feel pass me too close...

Two days back after being almost squeezed off the road at a railroad crossing I happened apon the lady driver a few minutes later..She was exiting her car to pick up her child from the same school two of my daughters attend..I rolled up to her said "Got real far didnt ya..Thanks for running me off the road back there" When she laughed and waved things went down hill fast..I think my next words went something like this.." Laugh it up you stupid ****ing ****, hopefully one day it wont be your child run off the road by some impatient *****"... All this was in front of several children and more than a few teachers who know myself and my daughters..

I have an anger problem when people risk my life for a few seconds on their time..

I've fallen asleep twice while riding my bike.

The milk crate on the back of my commuter was not legally purchased.

Back in the 1970's my roadie friends and I had a short period of time when we snapped off the antennae of offensive driver's cars and whipped their hoods.

I have blamed a rubbing brake for my slowness on a ride or hill climb when I know it was perfectly centered and not rubbing.

I round my average speed and/or my mileage up. I don't think I've ever called a 48 mile ride "about 45 miles" it is always "about 50 miles" or even "50 miles".

When recording mileage or ride times in a journal I struggle for accuracy (honesty) even though I am the only one who will ever read the journal or who even cares.

I once rode naked (except for my cycling shoes) for 25 miles*. (* it was probably more like 20 miles )

I actually have more numbness issue wearing bike shorts then when I dont so I almost never wear them and I ride my hopped up Cannondale with campy wheels, Utegra everything else in cargo shorts and a golf shirt.

Some mornings when cold or I am not feeling energetic I ride the sidewalk so I dont have to deal with the idiots coming close to me on this really steep hill with a curve on the way in. When cold so I can put along to keep the wind chill down. I just feel I need to move at a good pace (18-20mph on the flat as fast as I can go downhill) when in traffic. I just cant help but do it.

I might just be a bike hoarder...Let you know if I end up landing the 84 Trek 600 on CL tomorrow cause the only one I am getting rid of iss the too small for me Fuji LOL .

I once tried to bunny hop a curb at full speed when late for a class. I didn't make it and totalled my rear wheel. There were several witnesses, including a guy who said something along the lines of "Way to go, idiot!"

(P.S. this was on a '73 Schwinn Varsity w/ toeclips)

Sometimes when I try a snot rocket, especially when I have a cold, I get green Sargent's stripes on my arm or chest (over or underarm).

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Further confession, I dont mind this at al

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z

I confess that although I enjoy walking into the train station in full Fred regalia - the helmet, bike glasses, reflectorized high visability vest, the nose running like a faucet on cold dark mornings, the shirt clammy and slightly wet in the summer; that I remove and stow the equipment, that I go to the mens room and blow my nose, comb my hair, and try to clean up a bit in order to.....in order to.... better blend in with the soft, the weak, the poor in spirit, who need 2 tons of steel and glass to transport them to the train station - freeing them from any exertion - from having to experience their environment, safely separating them from any stimuli that might force them to acknowlege their existance! all because ....well, a guy has to make a living.

I confess that although I regularly visit the mechanics forum, I resent the time necessary to actually perform maintenance because it is time I can't be riding. I therefore regularlly let the chain wear so badly that I have to replace the entire drive system

Great post! I think this is the Commuter's Creed. Everyone in our society get so wound up about sweat and pressed pants... which pretty much requires two tons of steel to deliver to work.

I sometimes ride figure-8 patterns in the garage late at night.

I meow at them. You should give it a try.

I rode to my desk at work once without ever getting off the saddle. This included riding the elevator 24 floors. I'm not allowed to have my bike in the building.

I accidentally veered off the bike path at the local park while "admiring" a group of female cyclist. I tried to act like I wanted to get closer to the river's edge, but I am pretty sure they knew why I was in the grass.

I wanted to make sure everyone at work knew how much of a bad-ass commuter I was so I rode to work in the morning when the weather man was calling for a blizzard.....I had to walk 6 miles in 18+ inches of snow because I was acting like a tough guy.

I got a flat last night, had my pump and a spare tube on me, but I decided to walk home. Could have been my first roadside repair too....