Dear Gonesh9,

I am organizing a fall century ride for my bicycle club. Can you give me some ideas for aid station food that will be unique yet something most folks would enjoy?

Signed,
Doing it by the book, but coloring outside the lines

Dear gonesh9
How many questions can I ask?
Please be as descriptive as possible, yet brief. You will be judged on poise, formation of response and overall cheeky-ness.

Signed
"Holy crap, it is really late and I need to be up at 530am yet for some reason I am still here, meserized by this damn forum and the Effigies playing in the background."

dear gonesh,

you were a beautiful baby... what happened?

dex

Dear Gonesh9

Dude, I totally get what your saying vis-a-vis the mermaids and the valkyries but I'm
still baffled by 2 minor passages.
Can you explain in simple laymans terms what the heck these guys are
talking about?
and
I think the first one is from the Katha Upanishads part 1 but I may be wrong here.

whoa.
Bemused in bermuda.

Dear JBR,

I understand your situation with empathy. I was recently involved in a study which directly proved my theory concerning hydrocarbon fuels in respect to preparation from wastes or biomass:

https://www.osti.gov/energycitations/...sti_id=6304819

A study was conducted to determine the role of concentration of the test chemical, or a second organic compound, and of mutation in the acclimation period before the mineralization of organic compounds in sewage.^The acclimation period for the mineralization in sewage of 2 micrograms of 4-nitrophenol (PNP) per liter increased from 6 to 12 days in the presence of 10 mg of 2,4-dinitrophenol per liter.^The extension of the acclimation period was equivalent to the time required for mineralization of 2,4-dinitrophenol.^In contrast, the time for acclimation for the degradation of 2 micrograms of PNP per liter was reduced when 10 or 100 mg of phenol per liter was added.^Lower phenol levels increased the acclimation period to 8 days.^The length of the acclimation period for PNP mineralization decreased as the initial concentration of PNP increased from 2 micrograms to 100 mg/liter.^The acclimation period for phenol mineralization was lengthened as the phenol concentration increased from 100 to 1,400 mg/liter.^The length of the acclimation period for PNP and phenol biodegradation was reproducible, but it varied among replicates for the biodegradation of other nitro-substituted compounds added to sewage or lake water, suggesting that a mutation was responsible for acclimation to these other compounds.^The acclimation period may thus reflect the time required for the destruction of toxins, and it also may be affected by the concentration of the test compound or the presence of other substrates.

Dear supcom,

I spoke to Dante personally, and he revealed his answers to me in a very surprisingly calm, mannerly order:

1. Bicycle thieves
2. Idiots in pickup trucks who yell at cyclists as they pass
3. People who throw glass bottles onto the road shoulder
4. Radio DJs who advocate running down cyclists
5. Right hooking motorists
6. People who do not keep their dogs tied up
7. Cyclists who lube their chain with WD40

He also told me to tell you he doesn't look highly on cyclists who wear underwear under their cycling shorts, twinkie eaters, and bmx kids who can't spell.

Dear DIBTBBCOTL,

Everyone enjoys good fungus.

How about some oyster mushrooms?


or what about shaggy manes?


or my personal favorite, the boletus edulis:



As for coloring outside the lines, I like to, too! Here's a nice little poem about our little hobby, from:
https://www.coloringoutsidethelines.com:

Coloring outside the Lines is scary business.
Some days, I don't have the courage for it at all.

On my big, bold days though,
I like to let my red crayon just streak across the lines
Out there with my purple...
In perfect freedom,
NO LINES!

Coloring outside the Lines is lonely too!
I'm the only one who doesn't get a gold star on my paper.
The teacher frowns.
The kids call me weird or dumb or stupid.

Why don't they see that I'm not behind them,
I'm actually out in front,
Running free...OUTSIDE THE LINES!

It would be nice to have a friend who would
color outside the lines sometimes, too.
WOULD YOU?

Dear HCIISRLAINTBUA5YFSRIASHMBTDFATEPITB,

3/4

You realize, you're putting a doom on your self now.

Dear dex,

My father Shiva set off travelling when I was young and went
away for many years. When he returned, he found my mother Parvati talking
to an me as an adult, and assuming I was a stranger there to
woo his wife, he chopped off his own son's (my) head. Parvati was so
upset that in order to placate her, Shiva said he would replace
my head with that of the first living being he came upon.
This happened to be an elephant, and so now I am stuck with this damn
elephant's head.

Now that you know my story, I only have one more thing to say:

Dex, I am your father. Come join the bicycle side.

Dear Bemused,

Passage #1: You hear, you see, you speak, you think, and you live. To truly understand this is to transcend life's tangible falsities and allows you to enter an ethereal plane of meaningful, perpetual existence. Like the treads on the bike tire, these are the paths of our rides.

Passage #2: You belong to no one but yourself, and you alone have the power to control your own destiny.


Whoa, I've gotta chill out for a moment after that. Thanks for that hit of dank philosophy, Bemused. I was really jonesin' for some good Katha Upanishad.

Dear Merton,

It's alright to pee anywhere. Pee over here, pee over there, pee everywhere. Pee on a tree, pee on a flee. Pee in a big arc, pee straight down. Pee like a goat, pee like a clown. Pee, pee, pee. Pee like you're 3. Pee a yellow stream, or pee it green. Pee in the shower, or pee in the pot. Pee is liquid, poo is not. Peeing is fun you see, just don't pee on me.

Gonesh9,

Zen and the Art of Motorcylce maintenance, or Metamorphisis?

Sincerely,

sleepless reader.

Dear sleepless reader,

You pose a perplexing question, almost as bewildering as the choices themselves. My initial reaction was Kafka's legendary journey into the mind of a giant insect, The Metamorphosis. With further consideration, however, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance offers an introspective look into possibly an even deeper odyssey.

The answer is within you, William. It is you alone who must make this decision.

Well, thanks, I think. At least you didn't say Nietzche instead.

Thank you for your great wisdom! It is settled then, I will ride naked beginning 08/03.

JBR

Sorry, that's not soon enough. World Naked Ride June 12, 2004. https://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/

Dear Gonesh,

Why is it that girls can get mad at me when I blatantly stare at their chest. But if I'm wearing my riding shorts they stare at my crotch like if they keep doing it they are going to win a prize?

Thanks wise one,

Lumbering Ox

Dear Giant Lumbering Ox,

Because the prize is in the package, Ox!

Looking at a women's chest is like looking at the sun- you are drawn to the glory of it instinctually, but if you look for more than a second it can result in irreversable damage. And let's face it, do you really mind a woman taking accepting notice of your prized package? I understand the double standard issue comes into play here, but it is a simple fact of life we must face as the studly cycling men that we are.

For yor penance, say three Hail Marys, and go lube up your bike.

They told me that 4,000km ago. I'm still waiting.

Dear Gonesh9

If I ride a Cervelo like CSC, will I ride as fast as them?

Kiwi

I think someones been reading the Ramyana.

Dear Kiwi,

Hmmm, seems like CSC is really strong right now. According to their website:

"The Canadian Society of Cinematographers has grown with the country's film and television industry, and continues to uphold the objectives for which the non-profit organization was founded in 1957."


Now I wouldn't say that they are necessarily moving fast, but definitely steady and keeping right on the tail of the American Society of Cinematographers. It really sounds like they will be tough to beat due to their positive work ethic and broad range of talent:


"CSC members are involved in the production of feature films, documentaries, television series, specials and commercials. Canadian directors of photography, who represent the nucleus of the membership, have achieved recognition as among the best in the world. They participate as decision makers in virtually every aspect of the picture-making process: cameras, lights, film stocks, tapes, labs and post.

The Canadian Society of Cinematographers, reflecting the character of its national membership of nearly 600, is a working organization. Its mandate supports a full agenda of training, education, and dissemination of the latest in technical and product information."


Some of the world class talent you will find in this group includes:

Per-Inge Schei, Lighting Cameraman
Victor Sarin, Director of Photography
Steve Santin, Camera Assistant
Robert G. Saad, Director of Photography (Winner of Gemini award for Best Cinematography for "Ghost of a Chance" in 1998.)


Now I wouldn't say it's out of the realm of possibility, maybe you could ride next to them and carry some cords for them or something.

Dear Gonesh9

i am in india right now. ive been gone out of my country since jan 15. here is my problem, i miss my bike. there arnt any LBS over here that have bikes that i can drool over. my family members wont let me go and bike on the roads with an indian bike since it is too dangerous. i fear that when i go back home my cycling skills will be gone and my friends will beat me in biking. what should i do for the remaining 3.5 months?

love always
ME

Dear Gonesh9,

I think Therefore I am . . . ?

and finally (for now) Is this passage about Keith Bontrager? and How would one True it?
Tranquil in Trinidad (jah mon)