+ infinity!

I am too much of tecnophobe to know how to download/upload (or whatever it's called) my Garmin to my PC

I constantly get my cycling ambitions mixed up with my abilities

I hate Campag and SRAM but have never riden a bike that has them

I hate fat people, especially when they are wearing lycra

I've never used a wind trainer. Bought one but never pulled it out of the box, sat it in my garage for a year and ended up selling it for $60 less than I paid for it

I love to smash Freds on my commute to and from work

I like Lance and respect him as a rider even if in the future it is proven that he has doped

I only use Continental GP400S tyres

I will never use Michelin tubes with my Conti tyres

I don't like Sidi shoes. Bought a pair and wore them on and off for 6 months but prefer my cheapo Shimano shoes

I almost teared up watching the movie E.T.

Almost.

I don't repair/maintain my bike(s) I take it to a bike mechanic if it needs fixing.

I change tyres and tubes.

The most complicated job I've done is change a cassette.

I don't patch tubes I throw them out

I hate it when a girl beats me in a race

i never patch tubes. tubes are disposable IMHO.

This thread is supposed to be funny but that's just plain sick man

Soon after I wash my hair, I ride my bike. It gets my hair due just the way I like it. I don't own a wind tunnel and I don't like using the fan.

I wear mirrored sunglasses so nobody can tell that I am staring at them

You stare at your mirrored sunglasses?

I don't know how to change gears (well at least I don't do it enough). I ride pretty much my whole ride in my second highest gear (46X15 or 16) and only ever use maybe 4 gears total.

Only problem with that scenario is that most people assume you are staring at them if you are wearing mirror glasses.
After all, why else would someone wear mirrored glasses nowadays? Not in style anymore.

I do not care at all for style or fashion.

Many of the BF posters that others find annoying, I find amusing.

ok I have 2 but one is serious so I can't put it here but I will confess that,

While doing CPR on a guy the other night I was thinking how good a vanilla ice cream cone from DQ's would be.

Dude ... if we all would post how many confessions we don't want to put here ... this will be a looong night.

I sometimes keep my head straight but turn my eyes sideways as I bury others.

I get totally buzzed on 1 bottle of beer.

I think pedaling faster makes me look faster.

I can not blow a snot rocket. It only streams across my mouth and cheek.

I'm asian and I like country music.

I don't want to go to college. I want to ride my bike.

I applied for a commuter college so that I don't have to dorm somewhere else...because I like the place I ride in.

I chose my bike over my girlfriend...i mean ex-girlfriend.

I told my parents that bike racing was a school project so that they'd help pay for some stuff and races.

I have a low weight but low power output so my climbing isn't as good as it looks like it should be.

I'm a vegetarian. But I don't like animals.

Zed's dead baby. <they ride away>

Great movie!

I hired a public investigator to see if my girlfriend loves me.

I rode my bike in the rain yesterday, and it didn't bother me that it wasn't a dedicated "rain bike".

If I don't trust her enough that I'm doing that, I'd say the relationship is irretrievably broken.

As it turns out, she does not love me. She is just using me for sex. I am OK with that.

Yet another sign of the impending apocalypse.

sounds fine

And I'm a vegetarian who thinks animals taste good, but hasn't eaten one in 13ish years.