Thanks, I needed that...

Yesterday I ate some PowerBar Gel Blasts...




...five hours after my ride.

I take metamusil and I cross chain.

Love it!!

I hate myself almost as much as I hate people who make fun of my gangsta bike laying on its side with me still on it in full view of 500 bike tools. I have to move to a new town now.

I'm sorry man. I meant no disrespect or hurt.
In a few years or months, you'll be laughing about this incident in bed with a woman who makes this ex look like a dilapidated wart-hog.
Trust me! You looked like James Bond compared to some of the dumb $#it I've done over the years.

Time has a way of twisting our abysmal tragedies into hilarious triumphs.

-owning a bike and groupset that is way too fast for me

-having a old bike and old groupset

-secretly being very competitive when there's another rider on the road(usually I ride solo)

-more comfortable in the middle of the triple

-too fat to spend any more money on this sport

When I was 5th grade I ran over a girl that was waiting in line to get on the school bus with my bike. She was fine but all kids on the bus got a good laugh.

I learned a lot about electrolytes Saturday morning, about halfway into a 100k ride in 90+ degree heat. Some very nice people helped me lay down in the mud next to the trough full of ice and drinks at the sag station.

Yesterday, while I was toiling up this gem, it occurred to me that I may be too fat for this sport.

I cross chain regularly. And I don't care.

i ate fat free pringles and drank fat tire last last night while watching LBJ suck it in game 6 of the NBA finals. later.

I don't have a compact, but both of my primary road bikes only have a 39/50 instead of a 53.

I got too drunk on Saturday night to make my Sunday morning ride. After watching the 2nd stage of Tour of Switzerland, I thought I was pumped enough for a 20 mile climp. Quit after 15

I rode last Wednesday in the heat. Computer said it was 100 at some point. I did not feel smart or well after the ride.

I watched several episodes of the Starz series Camelot.

I don't know why.

Does it feature a Royal Wedding?

It's been so hot and humid on this god-forsaken coast that I'm finding it better to ride without sunglasses.

I swear it's cooler and they fill with sweat so quickly that they're hard to see through.

Helmet's next...

Went on a recovery ride on the bike triail this morning (stayed in the small ring the entire ride, never broke 20 mph), but I put on the full kit, right down to the team socks, hoping that Frederick von Mupster might try to give me The Look.

i was dropped in my last race. even though im a state champion i guess im like Hushovd now.

I cross-dress. But we better not talk about that here, it may be found distasteful. Spandex is naughty.

Well, yokey-dee here's a thread you need to read...

https://www.bikeforums.net/showthread...cycling-can-be

I didn't turn the other cheek on my last ride....

I mixed up the sunscreen & the chamois butter. My butt was whiter than ever and my face a very smooth red.

How cool is that!...?