Before May 2012, the only bike names I was familiar with were Trek, Specialized, KHS, and Cannondale, and the only components I knew of were Shimano. I had never heard of Cervelo, Felt, Orbea, Kona, Bianchi, Raleigh, Colnago, Surley, SRAM, Campagnolo (I did know of Campagnolo wheels like on old Lamborghinis), and probably some other names I can't think of right now.

I got a podium finish, 2nd place, in my age group at a Triathlon. But there were only 2 people in my age group.

When I tell someone that I leave off the second sentence unless they are a Cyclist.

Myself included. I have a lot of fun though.

I've got nothing.

Thats funny right there.

ditto, I genuinely LOL'd.

Sometimes after long rides i sniff my saddle.

I'm scared that the tyre will explode every time I pump it.

LOL, nice one....

Wait, this isn't the place where George and Levi hang out?

And Michael Barry, but BF forced him to do it.

I ran a 5k once. Time: 29 mins, 59 secs

Almost had a cardiac arrest at the end, sprinting so a couple kids couldn't pass me....

Don't feel bad. At my current running pace it would take me about 45 minutes to do a 5K.

I drove into the garage with the bike on top of the car once. It was my older Cannondale, the bike had no damage, but the top of the car got a pretty good scratch from the front fork. Oh, the garage was OK too. I just hate it when that happens!!!

Leave your garage door opener in your house before you head out next time.

All the bearings on my bike need to be replaced, the BB creaks, the freewheel clunks, my 26.4 stem is too big for my 26.0 bars, my chain is stretching out, my bar tape is in need of replacement..... and I'm too cheap do anything about it.

It's not below zero degrees C yet and I'm already on the trainer.
Well, the mtb is outside, but anyway.

I read all 64 pages of this thread . . . backwards . . . on my Droid . . . mostly during work hours.

I am good enough for my bike . . . but only because it's an over 30-year-old Trek with a mishmash of different parts: Shimano derailleurs, Sun Tour Barcons, Mafac Racer brakes, TA triple, Phil Wood BB, Chorus hubs and cassette, Avocet saddle, and Speedplays . . . actually, come to think of it, I'm not good enough for this bike . . . and I'm too fat.

Kenshi Biker

This is pasted from my Miyata 610 build thread:

somewhere around 83-84, I was on my first (of 2) touring bike and I was taking a trip I did often. (mishap at end of story)
From south west Houston down to galveston was 55 miles, then another 8 miles to the state park. 3/4th of that last 8 miles was on a 12 foot high sea wall. When a hurricane snuck up on Galveston (1903??) and killed 2000 people, they raised the town 12 feet, making everyones first floor into the basement. The sea wall has a side walk about 7-8 feet wide and then a smooth strip of concrete about 8 inches wide right on the edge.
I would usually ride on that smooth edge because it was smooth as glass and because people stayed away from it and there was less traffic..
I would leave home on a Sat morning (on weekends with a bright moon) and set up camp and go straight to bed. I would then wake up in the middle of the night and have the park and beach all to myself with a full moon to see by.
The sand a few feet from the water that is wet and shiny is like solid concrete when riding bicycle on it. you can get to full speed riding there. I spend half my time just cruising on the shore. I spent the other half sipping vodka out of my 3rd water bottle. I then go back to bed and head home by sundown the next day.

OK, that is the context of my most common bike "tour".

One time, I was on a back road before the galveston bridge and I got a flat. No problem. I pull out the tube, ruff up the hole, open the rubber cement.... the cement is rock solid and I'm 10 miles from the nearest gas station in the rain. I stash the bike in the brush, put the tube over my shoulder and hike to the highway. I thumb a ride to a gas station and apply the glue but I forgot the patch. I thumb another ride back and apply the patch. all good and I'm back to touring.

Now the event that I started typing all this for...
I leave home on my first touring bike (this is a major reason there had to be a second bike).
I have an amazingly fast 55 mile ride to the sea wall because of a strong tail wind.
I park the bike and lean it on a street sign on the side walk. I walk down the steep stairs to the car sized rocks 12 feet down. I hear a seriously strong gust of wind and I look up at my bike. It all happened in slow motion. the bike slowly tilted over and flipped right off the top of the wall. The wave went away and the bike SMASHED on the rocks upside down smashing the speedometer, bending the handlebars, breaking the rear rack, dumping the handlebar bag. it falls over sideways and lands. then the wave comes back and buries everything in salt water.
I drug everything I could find to the top of the wall and rung out as much of the water as I could. I take an incredibly heavy 8 mile ride to the park and hang everything up to dry. My mom was out with a friend and just happened to stop in and see me 3-4 hours later. I pack everything I didn't absolutely need in her trunk and suffered thru it. It's fun when everything goes right, but when everything goes wrong, it makes you feel really good to make it work anyway. I limped home (with a strong head wind this time) with bent handlebars because I didn't want to give up and ride home with mommy. the worst part was the wet sleeping bag.

I only have one set of cycling clothes and I don't wash them as often as I should because there is only coin laundry in my apartment complex.

I polished my White Industries hubs today. I confess it was a bit OCD, but they sure look real-pretty now!

IDK about sniffing saddles but i've certainly liked to sniff my armpits for a long time.....also i don't just chew on my "finger" nails...

Only time i have fallen off my bike i was approaching a construction zone, slowed down to 0mph, the front wheel did something funny and i fell to the side on top of a construction folding thingy and knocked over a cone with non-clipless pedals....
I knew about those, seen them on the road along with Scattante.
Ever since a 1.95x26 tube exploded right next to my face with a 1.50 tire.
I tried smoking just to see what it was like and now i think i'm addicted!
Well Poly can go weeks without stinking or at least i think so..

I hate having my 14 year old son passing me on the hills.
I would rather have a rum and coke than a beer after a ride.

Dude, that's just wrong.

Last summer was slowly cruising along an MUP when I came across a group of kids having their field trip. They moved aside and got cheers (or maybe jeers??)..I imagined I was climbing Col du Tourmalet with the crowds hehe