That's how gsteinb rolls ese.

Plus his Shift key is broken now.

no riddles, only you being dense. let's say she kills herself. how are you then? to pose just one example.

a key is broke, but I'm on the rollers so no shift

So you think I should stay, and try to help her? Maybe go to counseling with her? She said she wants to slow things down, and back off a bit. She wants to talk about it all on Sunday, and I have a lot to talk about myself. That is the point of our date. It could go down any number of ways. I just think it is probably best if I do what she says, and back off.

back off and go by yourself first

Well I would be devastated, but I would get through it.

and how would she be? or her loved ones?

that's a riddle

Dedication.

High of 32º today, 12º now. Always keep a bike at work for those brisk lunchtime rides. Oh, there will be miles.

She would be dead, and her loved ones would be devastated. I know I can't completely blame myself, for she was depressed far before I came along.

It's not a matter of blaming yourself. You do not have the tools to handle the situation you find yourself in. Few people do. That's why there are trained professionals to act as sounding boards. And if you really love her, despite your obvious flaws, it behooves you to find the ways to navigate all this as skillfully as possible and with as little harm as humanly possible.

I feel like I can handle this. I am basically just giving her what she wants.

Backing off. Got it. I'm not going to a therapist though. I am not the one who is depressed. I have a very positive outlook, and aside from these issues with her, my life is just fine.

She is really not that interested in you and or a commitment. You need to face the fact and make your next move.

Going to t therapist together would be a good idea. You may not be depressed but we all have issues. I had a friend that described a therapist/shrink as a spa for the mind ( has dad was a shrink)

I just started riding rollers last week. I can get a drink and no longer feel like I need a helmet but texting seems a long ways off.

Why would you blame yourself at all?

"I'm not an addict! I can stop any time I want!"

Solo, if you are incapable of recognising what you need (when everybody else here can), what makes you think you can diagnose what she needs?

DG

I have one of these that sits next to my rollers. I use an old mac book pro to watch shows and surf BF while I train.

http://www.skymall.com/images/produc...2113432gx1.jpg

A bit extreme, but I don't think anybody is truly ready for a relationship until they hit their 40s. That's when all of the crazy games stop and you realize that there is this "miracle cure" for relationships that's called "talking it out".

A 40s type response to her request to "back off" would be saying something like: "I heard you say that you want us to 'back off', but I'm not entirely sure I understand what that means. I want to make sure that I am giving you what you ACTUALLY want, so can you please help me to understand what 'backing off' means to you?" Hopefully at that point she'll let you know more concrete examples, like talking/texting less often, not seeing each other as often, etc. Heck, she might have just meant that she was having second thoughts about moving in together. Point is, you never really know until you TALK through things... and that's likely why you never had closure in the breakups before.

I could be way off base here Solo, but this may not be the best place to seek counsel with regard to relationship issues. Everything in this forum is highly flammable and we all have difficulty enough in relationships with our bikes, let alone the wimminfolk.

Good luck, sir.

Truth.

A number of us have been married to our bike and wife for a long time.

Misguided dedication.

What about your paranoid delusional state quicksdraw? You walk around fearful that the Feds are about to storm your compound or that the chemtrails are poisoning America. Anybody who is not a hunter who owns a gun is afraid of something.