This is a true story that happened to me a while back. I thought you non-conformist types might appreciate it.

Back in school I was carless and my sole means of transportation was a 70's era full-Campy Schwinn Paramount. Not that I'm complaining; those were the good ol' days. On a Sunday morning ride I came up on a church service letting out. The intersection was gridlocked, so I slowed and rolled through, safely. There happened to be a cop there, not helping out or directing traffic, but just sitting in his air conditioned patrol car. He turns on his siren, but is held up by the traffic. By the time he roars up behind me I am a half mile up the road, and I know I can't out run him.

But out of the corner of my eye I spot a big log hidden in the tall grass of the right shoulder. So I come to a graceful stop 25 feet ahead at the side of the road, knowing where he is going to pull off and park on the grassy shoulder. I patiently wait and then.... POW, WHAM, SMACK, BUMBA BUMBA, BOING, CRUNCH, BOING, RUMBA RUMBA, CRUNCH, BING!, RATTLE RATTLE.

He had rolled over the log which bashed the entire length of the patrol car's undercarriage. I knew all I had to do was keep a straight face and I would not get a ticket. When he got out of his patrol car his face was BEET RED from anger and embarassment.

He stood outside his patrol car with a beet red face and gave me a warning. No ticket. He was so angry that if I had smirked, it probably would have taken him over the edge. I kept a straight face, nodded to what he was telling me, and got out of there as soon as I could.

I knew he couldn't write me a ticket, as he then would have had to explain to his station commander how he damaged the undercarriage of his patrol car while chasing down a bicyclist. He probably went home and kicked his dog that day. Maybe he considered a career change.

haha, awesome.

your description of his response is limited to having a beet red face

what did he do
?

everyone conforms

He stood outside his patrol car with a beet red face and gave me a warning. No ticket. He was so angry that if I had smirked, it probably would have taken him over the edge. I kept a straight face, nodded to what he was telling me, and got out of there as soon as I could.

if nobody else will, then i'll say that your story makes you, not the cop look lame

the joke is on the tax payer

usually is

You're pretty hard...

Lameness aside, I thought it was a pretty funny story

I don't know about the rest of you, but the use of emoticons really drove the point home for me.

. . .

; ; ;

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^_^;

so wait what colour was his face?

It was either tulip purple or beet red. One or the other.

Reminds me of the ending sequence of Quicksilver. One of the few times a bike can beat a car.

Butter squash goldenrod?

Intentionally seeking to damage a publicly-owned police car to needlessly raise costs to decent and honest taxpayers...that's just great.

ok, so this dude who did not force the cop car over the log, just made it a convenient obstacle for an over zealous cop is wasting all the tax payers money, meanwhile to maintain it's spending budget, the pentagon buys $20,000 mini-fridges.

traffic cops seem to get off on ruining someones day over things like, "you didn't come to a complete stop at that intersection that was clearly empty." karma.

This same police officer was likely unable to provide high-speed escort to a hospital for a critically-injured cyclist or respond to a crime-in-progress because his cruiser was willfully damaged by a fellow rider. It's not taking the high road.

The officer absolutely would not be punished for this kind of unpredictable damage. The only people to get hurt were innocent folks who needed immediate police assistance and taxpayers of that region.

because he's the only cop in town? are we talking about mayberry? when I was younger I always figured that any smart criminal could clean up in mayberry if there would just do all their robbing at night.

Are you a cop?

geez, people will find a way to complain about ANYTHING. Nice story. I doubt the cop car really amounts to anything in the grand scheme of wasted tax payer money.