It makes you hot, doesn't it?

Finally you and coasting have something in common.

I am being harangued by a Fred from Indiana.





































Another night in the 41.

Chicks racing motorbikes. Sooo HOT!

Hot he says, harangued he says. And I thought SA was looney. I'm convinced you have exceeded ijens self portrait posts. Her I could take seeing bare chested in the middle of the woods. But a Greek geek? Me thinks not.

You covet my svelte cyclist physique.

Gotta get up at 4, g'night sweetie, sleep tight.

I am a caring individual, and I am a pretty great boyfriend. "Too perfect" may of been a stretch, but I have really gone out of my way to be the best boyfriend possible. Opening car doors was just the start. I've done her laundry, I've cleaned her entire apartment, washed her car, did her shopping for her, cleaned her dishes, I bought her flowers twice for no good reason, I even started building her a bike. Did I mention I shaved my goatee off for her? At the three month point, I think I've proved to be a pretty damn good boyfriend.

We met when we were 12. I think dial up was just becoming popular then.

BTW she broke the communication silence today. The following txt conversation took place today:
8:59pm
her: How are you doing?
9:13
me: Pretty good, had a nice day at work. You?
9:14
her: Good. Just wanted to say hi.
<conversation over>

It's going to be hard for me to pull away completely, but so far I passed this test with flying colors.

That being said, I am not going to argue her state of sanity. I mean I am clearly a great boyfriend. The crap I've dealt with out of her proves her lack of sanity. It has nothing to do with her saying I was "too perfect". Nobody is perfect, but I am pretty damn good at being a boyfriend.

Of course you aren't. neither coasting nor his socks would ever consider cutting back on the beet juice.

i hear ya.

i have 4 big jars of beetroot, sliced finely and pickled in apple cider vinegar. That is life force in a jar.

My social life is on gardening leave.

Duuuuuude. You are so whipped. :p

i read somewhere about people with low self esteem that they cannot accept being with someone who treats them very well because they think they don't deserve it, so they gravitate to dip****es who treat them badly. maybe solo you are in this situation. if so, there is nothing you can do to change this person. step away.

Yes you are..Turn your attention to someone who deserves it...and tell lil miss to save the drama for her mama..:thumb:
My oldest son had himself a 10 rated hottie that sounds identical to yours....she put him through the exact same hell. That was last year. She's gone now, and he's never been so happy!!

ftfy

This is exactly what is happening. When she told me I was "too perfect" it was in response to some nice thing I did for her. The low self esteem is a byproduct of her depression.

Thanks for validating my point. I plan to do exactly that. It's hard, because I care very much. I can only hope that she continues councilling in my abscense and hopefully she can treat her depression, and make herself better. I need to move on. Maybe this is exactly how it was supposed to happen. If she becomes well, and comes back maybe we can try this again. At the current crossroads it seems in both our best interests for me to let her alone to figure it out. She clearly cares about me a lot. She had to say "hi" after two days, and if some of you remember she told me she thinks about me everyday on our second date back together. I'm not going to wait around however. I think I'm even going to join a gym and see if I can't meet some girls to date. Maybe she wasn't the one. If it was meant to be she will realize it and come back.

No it's not that. I just really care about her, and I am worried about her. Validating my worries last night the front page article on yahoo, "Nurse Left Suicide Note" was the headline. Idk if that was supposed to be a sign or something, but it made me take notice. It of course has nothing to do with her. It still seemed very weird.

This song seems to be appropriate soundtrack material for this relationship. I came across it the last time we broke up. Ironically, she met the lead singer once at a concert for some other band. Yet, another song that seems to be about us.

Ok Solo, you dragged me back in. A few points.

1). Low self esteem is not a byproduct of depression. It is the opposite. And much more difficult to treat.
2). You are not responsible for her happiness. Only your own. That has been the hardest thing for me. She is responsible for her own mental well being. When we are in a relationship we need to respect and support each other. But we cannot MAKE anothe person happy.
3). The threat of suicide is not a reason to stay together. In fact, it might be a reason to separate. Trust me on this one.

Noone said this **** was easy. As you are seeing this stuff is common and very difficult to deal with. And none of us can really know what is right for you. Except by how you portray it. And your portrayal makes it look like you want to get out. If that is the case, do it.

I really don't, I just think maybe it is best. I know I can get through this. I guess we will see how Sunday goes. Tonight I am picking up my Insight. I have to drive right through her city to get there. It will be weird not stopping by to see her. I thought about calling her, and seeing if she wanted to meet up tonight. I think it is probably best though, if I just keep the silence until Sunday. A talk tonight could be a bad thing.

So I am doing research on treating low self esteem, and it does appear that is exactly what is going on with her. Furthermore, it tells me everything I've been doing is wrong, and explains why she is pushing me away.


"Telling someone they are great or wonderful when they are constantly negative about themselves will not work. Imagine if you really detest yourself and someone tells you that you're lovely even as they are telling everyone else the same thing.


In fact people with low self esteem can be upset by disconfirming feedback. Healthy self esteem needs to emerge subtly, not as a sudden result of hearing you are 'really special' or 'fantastic'.


Paradoxically, being "too nice" to someone with very low self esteem can drive them away. People need to develop better self esteem gradually, through "proof" in the real world. Just being repeatedly told (by someone who doesn't know you that well) that "you're wonderful" has never been found to work in lifting low self esteem."

On a happier note, I am getting ready for my "Usual Suspects" Wednesday ride.

it's a 31 degrees out. That's brisk, baby!

Nothing yet.

32 degrees here. Heading out for a run with my friend's wife.